For is it possible that all the people do not know about thy son for is it possible that the people do not talk about him the way that he thought. That they would for he knows that some do talk but how man he does not know and since he has been doing it for so long is it just old news, for things have happened so that some how he has made it where a lot of different people know about him but they must be trying to find out the truth for we once said that we have told our story but we have only told a little here and there and to different ones and they had to put it all together to know the truth but that was before we just started telling it all to some and yet they still do not know all for I only allow so much to be known, and we get tired of saying the same thing and no [p2-b5] one really believes and to some we do not speak what we are doing for they walk in to something that they know not anything about.
[xxx] For some read some of what is written and say that there are parts that they do not understand.
For thy son longs for the day of his recognition for the day that people well believe for it would even be a relief if people would believe that some thing has taken him over then at least he would think that they would try and find the people to help him, but as long as no one believes him then he really can not get help for even those who think that they now and are helping him are not for they are the wrong people to be trying to help for some are so hung up on their work that they can not believe in some [p3-b5] thing different and they may think that it is possible but they want proof and how can they prove say thing, when they know not what they are looking for and that they all ready know the answers and they listen to what the others have said with out really listening to thy sons side and do not need all that is written, and if they believe that it is possible then many, and time should mean nothing for they should do anything and get hold of any body to find out the truth.
For there were those who were afraid of Jesus for he was telling them what they were doing was wrong and was trying to change them.
For there was the time when we said that we were not going to move but we were going to change the people and some of the people have tried to change us.
Then there are the times when [p4-b5] we said that we started something here and we were going to finish it here and that we could not move till it was finished.
For not all Gov. are good like not all people are good for some Gov. care only about themselves and not really the people and some try their best to help their people an some do not care what they spend to make themselves look good for it does help to look good but you can over do it and you do not have to have all the things that others have just to show that you have wealth and if people look hard enough they can always find something wrong with Gov. and can find waste of money; for why go some where else to buy things to wear if your own people can make it; that way you are helping your people or why [p5-b5] can not arrangements be made to trade something that your people can make for something else that way each country is helping their own people because they would be buying things from their own people; Example to go some where and spend a mil. for things to wear when you could trade something for it that your people made then at least you spent a mil. helping your people but who needs a mil. dollars of things to wear for just one person and fashions do not mean shit as long as you have starving people, for look at fashions like the story of the King that wore the garments of nothing just because some said that it was something new and what to wear and that it was one of a kind.
For a young asked us how our [p6-b5] bible is coming along and said that we were a profit and some old heard it and for the first time they understand that we are serious about what we are doing and that what we are writing is what is called a bible.
For this thing puts me through all this and tells me that it is not over yet and tells others that I have more to go through and one asked how much do you have to go through and got no answer for that is one thing I would like to know for I heard that Satan could do this and then kill me when he got tired of playing with my life and then I've heard where Satan is suppose to do something good for a person that would like to make a deal and no body can explain to me what is happening to me [p7-b5] and what is in me for it tells people that it is God.
Why does not a priest come and talk and see for himself why do they not send for one to try and find out thy son's reasoning for the one priest that we did talk to well we were exception Jesus as our savior the priest did pray for us and said that Jesus give us guidance for what ever our mission was for he did not believe that God was in this body so we hope because of what we did at least that he does not think that we are evil.
For a man to tell of the way that he is being torched and no one believe for the added hell it is because they can not see what is happening if they could see this thing that is in me then thy would believe.
[x] Damn it thy son for the [p8-b5] worries that only I know that you are isn't it worth the hell and battle that you have done to give the people of the world a chance and something better to look forward to and knowing that you well never have to go through and things like that again for to know the war of Armageddon and walk through it with army to have some thing to destroy your mind and then put it back together just because it say that it has a purpose for you and that it wants something that no other can do and that is starting this world out about God.
For to know that something can enter the body and make you do and believe anything even over time can make you think that it is you; can make other [p9-b5] people think that it is you all that happened is that you just changed or what they done stopped you from doing what you were doing or even has help you for you are different from the way that you were, to know that you could go through your whole life this way and no body know it, to walk a life and not be you for even the change people well never know what happen for the man is different than he ever used to be no body can tell if the man is a man anymore or is he something that nobody well ever know, has God done something to him to change him or is it still God just using his body for God has all ready shown us that he can become him and does not care what happens for he has let things happen that no one would think that God would do and has said [p10-b5] that he can wait till people die to get them back.
For do not try and make a world leader out of thy son he is a man of God and was not meant to be a leader of the world but just to help for he has not come to destroy for he just searches peace and Gods way, let him lead the leaders of the church and straighten them out for a lot have lost their way and do not know any more what it is all about for there are some that is trying to please the people and them selves more then God and I have shown thy son that it has been written and talked about before in another place and time, for one way to say it is do not put faith in the man but put [p11-b5] your faith in God.
For do not ask man to do something that only God can do for man is and well all ways be limited to what they can do, for man can ask for Gods help but it does not mean that they well get it.
For if it seems like God has made a burden upon you that is no reason to lose faith.
For faith did not save all of the old it did not stop Jesus from being killed it did not stop Johns the Baptist from being killed, it did not stop a king from killing all the profits he could find, but faith lets them all go to heaven.
For faith is one thing that man has tried to let people know about have faith in God and Jesus is some thing that has been talked about for a long time for no matter what happens have faith.
[p12-b5] [xxxx] Faith for this man has to go through life hating what happen to him but has to have more faith that his father is God than any.
For we have written about the battle of Armageddon and revolution taken out up on this one and that he has been through a war and battle that no one can see and it all has been in his mind so all he really knows is that he has been through extreme hell.
For all the knowledge of the world can not help me for some how I feel that this thing is erasing my mind it only lets my mind think of anything but what it wants and there has to be a limit to what it is doing to me for it talks faith and yet has me where I won't [p13-b5] even know who I am any more.
For thy son and I have a dream and that is Jerusalem becomes a city of solid peace and neutral where scientist can come from all over and talk about thing and where world problems can be discussed and hopefully solved, a city that any evil doing the person is put to death, a city that listens to Gods way a place where people can come and not be afraid that something well go wrong a place if need were men from different country would not try and defect for we seek world peace where people can go and visit all country with out the fear of there lives a world where you would not need spies a world that dealt in honesty a world that would help one and another a world that would not need war or [p14-b5] their machines but as a world of peace we do say that to have a defense is not bad for even in space things of war can be used for the good, for star track is a good dream of a world of peace and space and if found other planets that is like earth and has people on them instead of just taking the planet could unite with them if they are more advance or less. But all ways remember who your God is it well be the same as theirs but things might have been done a little different there so just because they do not believe exactly like you do dose not mean that they do not believe in God; its Gods laws and ways that there can only be peace and remember Jesus was of this world.
[p15-b5] The best Gov. of the world is no good and can be no good and do no good if the people are no good that goes for society to.
For I have involved this town in something that they are not prepared for; for they really do not believe that God is going to let the world know that he is here and has a son.
For there was the time when we said that God choose this town to make a study of.
[xx] For I have looked at the people through thy sons eyes and have should him things that he would not have seen if I did not show him have made him look at things that others take for granted, have thought him things that no one is thought any more, have preached to him in a way that no body is preached to, have been so hard on him that he wishes [p16-b5] that he was dead, So far those who say that church is to hard well it is no where near as hard as God, for those who say that there parents are to hard they are no where near as hard as God; for those who say that life is hard it could be a lot worse.
For if you did not think that you had to have things then life would not be so hard if you appreciate life itself then it would be better, if you could give up everything and not care about it then life itself means more than the things that you think you got to able to love for food and water is all it really takes to live and to miss a meal now and then well not kill you for there are those who are lucky to even get a meal, and there are those who do not even know what it is like no to have food or where and [p17-b5] when you are going to get a meal, for we have seen some that have food but say and act like they have nothing and there would be others who would love to have what they have, for some people are too lazy to even fix themselves something to eat and just because they do not like what something taste like they well not eat it but if they where starving then they would appreciate what they have for a lot of people eat what they can get, for just the waste of food of the US could feed a lot of people and it is not just the food that is table scrapes.
[x] For Jesus asked one to give every thing that he had away and walk with him and he would not do it, to walk with a man of God you do not have to have a lot for it just shows that some well believe [p18-b5] in God but well not give up what they have for God and there are those who do not want the hard ships that they see a man of God goes through; and it lets thy son know that all well not do things to prove that they believe even though it is the son asking, for it is hard to understand people and the information of the old is how people were then.
For remember the words thy son for they know not what they were doing for they had no ideal who they where messing with, So let what I wrote be your anger and show that you can forgive and let me be the one to decide what happens to their spirit but I do not expect you to forgive one for not even I can forgive him for I know things that you do not [p19-b5] thy son and you know that there were two of them jerks.
[x] For maybe this well help you thy son for the ones that turned Jesus away he never tried to go back or do anything for them for he cared less about them for Jesus cared about those who believed in him and God more than any others.
For I make thy son see both sides of something's and there are things about Jesus that only God and Jesus knows about and you know some of it for all that is written about him is how good he was and not what some of his thoughts were and not how he really felt about something's, for just to know one side of a man means that you really do not know all for Jesus had thoughts of bad but he never let them be known for he thought people [p20-b5] not to try and think of bad things and if you did then try and forget them because they do you no good and like you they would help you understand something's better for something if you look at the bad then it makes the good even better.
For thy son you know that you have to blame a woman just as much as the jerk for what happened to you for she did not have to do the things that she did the way that she did.
[x] For I do not and well not take all the blame for what happened to you thy son I keep you from doing things and just sat back and watched the things happen for I could have stopped it at anytime but them you would not have seen as much as you did, you would not [p21-b5] have seen the changes and you would not have learned as much as you did, for you have had things done to you and been taken places because no one would believe.
[x] For why do you wake me up thy father for sleep is the only peace that I know and I regret every day that I am awake, for I dream and wait for the day that it well happen but at the same time I regret it.
[xxx] [runs for six page] For the thoughts for how it really was back then for there must of had been some of the great minds there really was, for how do you explain the thoughts of men that really know God.
For how do you tell them that I can only do what God wants?
For how do you tell them that you are talking to God!
[p22-b5] For what does it matter; what you do to me; but you never know what God might do to you.
For they do not know how to act to some one that knows God!
For I do not want to be God!
For to play God is to know that what the hell there is nothing that they really can do to me for I all ready know that I have a place in heaven and I know that they do not.
For why is she like that don't she know if God gets mad he well do something to her.
For why God did you do this to me I did nothing.
For haven't they learned yet that God is God.
For God he's all ready should people that there is no other God.
[p23-b5] For don't they know that they can't take that stuff to heaven.
For there was a wars of the Gods once for God went around and let others know that there is really one God.
For I have showed them that I'm like God but I am not God.
For why does not God give me what I want for I am his servant.
For why does God give me something and others want respect what god has done.
For what can I say what God well do!
For God made everything he can destroy everything to.
For what power that God must have.
For don't they know that nothing means anything to me but God.
For people should fear God for you never know what he is [p24-b5] going to do.
For there is no power greater than God's, not even satins.
For what do they think that God is going to come down here and talk to me just cause they want to know something.
For why did God give a woman a mouth?
For didn't god give them a mind to think with.
[x] For God is making me do it.
For why didn't God make them all look alike then they wouldn't kill for one.
For if God wanted he could give me a child.
For what is life really all about if God all ready has plans for us.
For I am the one who knows God who is he to tell me different.
For why doesn't God talk to him to let him know [p25-b5] that I am talking to God!
For if only God would talk to them for they well not listen to me.
For does God really expect people to believe that.
For doesn't God know how hard this is on me.
For doesn't God know how hard it would be for me to do, But if that is what it takes for me to prove something to him then I well do it.
For why does God want to test me for haven't I all ready done enough!
For I wish that I had never told her.
For I hope that thy do not kill me for what God is doing.
For why does God make me do this and let them do that?
For if God is going to fight for us then there is no way [p26-b5] we can lose.
For why does god tell us not to kill but then has us kill all them because they have another god.
For who am I to question what god says.
For why does God want me to sacrifice something that I love.
For listen to that woman gripe for he is giving her what she wanted a child.
For why gripe at me; because you cannot have a child; for I am not God!
For why does thy father want me to die!
For how much does God want me to go through!
[x] For God would not let this happen to him.
For the people think that I am God and God is the one that is doing it.
For if God would only give me strength back; I would tear [p27-b5] this place apart.
For is God doing this because I love them and feel more for them than I do him.
For I wonder if God really is going to do that.
For I wonder if God well let that happen.
For if God wanted he could change anything.
For why won't God tell us what heaven is like!
For why did God send an angel to stop me!
For if God has another place why does he mess with us.
For what does it do to teach some and not all!
For why is God mean to us for doing that and not do something to them.
For God wants us to show him our faith in him so that no matter what happens he wants us to believe in him.
For God is going to destroy [p28-b5] everything and they won't believe me.
For they make fun of me; and God is the one telling me to do it.
For God did this because of what you done.
For God wants it that way other wise he would do it different.
For why does God wait so long before he lets us know something!
For God has sent spirits from heaven to talk with us so why does he make us suffer just so we can go there to.
For what did God do that for; for they did not want to mess with him!
For God has us to do some strange things.
For how do you know if you are talking to God if you are asleep!
For how can God make me [p29-b5] dream!
For why does God only talk to just the one he wants why does not he talk to us all.
For why does God let Satan torture me?
For why does God want us to teach them about him why does not he do it himself?
For why did the people turn away from God so fast for they see what he could do?
For if God would only let me I would show them that I could do it.
For they do not want to believe God has something else in mind for us.
For I wonder if God well just give up and destroy everything.
[x] For I really laugh at you for you do not know my God.
For God takes his time about things; we could be dead before [p30-b5] he teaches them a lessen.
For if God does not let people see what he does how well they believe.
For how do they know, they don't know God.
For if God did this to them they would believe.
For I wonder what God is going to do in the future.
For why does God wait to let me know something's?
[x] For God only wants us to do things his way.
For if they go away from God he well get angry.
For how does God expect us to love him after he has done this to us?
For why does God let Satan exist if he does not like him?
[x] For God does not care what man has for it means nothing to God.
For God wants us to believe more than any.
For God lets us know things [p31-b5] of the past to give us something to think about.
For how did the people go wrong did not they believe the elders?
For they know Gods laws but they do not care.
For why do they mess with a man that says the he is the Son of God. [xxx] (End of 6 page run}
For thy son still sees how they still do not believe that some thing special is happening to him for some slam things around like they are trying to prove that there is something wrong with him because they can not believe that he is talking to God for it the things they do to him bothers some one as a example then some one must be crazy.
For men gripe about their wives but treat thy son like shit and with their help [p32-b5] he is the one that can straighten things out but they just don't want to believe they would rather believe that thy son is crazy rather then to try and believe him.
For why would people lie about some one and try and stop him from doing some thing for God and why can't they see that he is trying to figure something out that would help and why can't they understand that if it is proven that he is the son of God then he is the same as God to those who believe for would people treat God the way that they would his son.
For all thy son hears is other peoples problems for they are things that if they would read the bible they might get some of the answers if they had [p33-b5] a brain to think with for a lot gripe about nothing and others gripe about things that they bring on themselves and some gripe because they are so used to it they do not know any other way and some gripe so that they can get their way and some gripe because that they have found out that that is one way to get things for some well do it to shut them up and some would do it because they say they love.
For you should have heard Abraham wife gripe when Abraham went to sacrifice his son, for you well do anything God tells you no matter what it is, you would do things to please God but do not do anything to please me and I do what ever I can to please you.
For to know that it is not what you think that God [p34-b5] cares about but it is for you to do what he says for all that your thinking can do is maybe help others understand God for only God knows all the reason that he does something and people can only guess why God does some of the things that he does and the way that he did it.
For God does not tell all; and does not give reason.
For one thing of the old is that the people that know God did not talk tech knowledge; but God.
For they talked about what God wanted and not about what they wanted for a man to know God is a man that knows that God has some thing in mind and that they are part of it and that there has to be a good reason for God to let things be known and real important [p35-b5] if he lets himself be known.
For a man to be thought how to talk like God is one hard thing to teach for man has all ways been asked why and to talk like God means that what you say is the way it is no matter what and no matter what a man can only answer so much and for a man to be thought something by God means that no matter what that is the way he wants it to be known.
[xx] For there is one thing for sure and that is no body well ever be able to change thy sons mind about God and no matter what they well not be able to make him think like them and no matter how much that they know they still do not know what God did and thy son well never be convinced that others [p36-b5] know the true God and no body well be able to get him to worship any other God.
[x] For no matter I have one man on this earth that really knows what God is and because of it he knows that God has done something to him so he well never be the same and knows that because of God nothing really means any thing to him for he was all ready happy before he met God and now no matter what he has to work for
God till he dies and he really does not know what God is going to ask of him and he really does not know how many answers that he can give.
[x] For at least he well be interested in talking with those who really want to [p37-b5] know a man that only cares about God and who is welling to wait for the answers for there are not many who would want to be around a man that only thinks of God more than anything else for he could be any where and see or hear something that well put his mind into motion and there is no telling when God is going to do or say something to him for it is easy to say that you are talking to God, But it has not been easy for this one to be visited by God.
[p38-b5] [x] For to say that you believe in God and do things that God would not like is not a true believer.
[x] For to have God teach you something about women but you all ready know that there are men just as bad.
[xx] For this thing is treating me different than the god that I am hearing about for every body tries to tell me that God is loving and this God is mean and don't care about anything it does.
[x] For the problems of today are not like the problems of the past; and are not like the problems of Jesus.
[x] For one asked today if it would not be better if once thy son got his recognition if it would not be better if he just disappeared from the face of the world; and I guarantee you it has been something that we have [p39-b5] talked about but for reasons thy son knows that it is not for him to take his own life for the problems that he has no one well understand and he knows that the longer he lives the longer he has to work for God.
For to think; that there might be a day that the world well cry for the loss of one man.
[xx] For the problems that this one has, he has problems of the world to look at, he has a big problem about why me, he has a problem with his father for he can talk for God but he really does not know what God well do for God made a convent with thy son and said that he well protect him until he has a chance and he does not know for how long and what God is going to do to keep it.
[x] For the people have not really [p40-b5] heard thy sons plea and that is he is doing something to his death and he has no choice about it, for he talks that he is writing a edition for the Bible and some think that he is making up his own and do not believe that something is making him.
For thy son does not know why God does not make them believe.
[x] For all he can do is hope that God knows what he is doing and what is happening to him is true.
[x] For there is a woman that can not stand the thought that God is here and do not want any others to believe what thy son is doing for how this remedies me of the past that people want to think that they know God but do not want God to be around Sally, and others whores.
[p41-b5] [x] For if it were not for all those who are trying to discredit thy son then he would of had a better life.
For there are those who are trying to make thy son use a mane that I so not want him to and they try and make sure that others know what they want him to be called.
[x] For how many times have I seen that no one wants to believe and that they do not want things to change for there stooped minds can not see what would happen if things did not change.
[x] For I have all ways held women at fault for allowing evil to be on this earth.
[x] For they are gambling that what I say is not true and are not even thinking what well happen if they are wrong.
[p42-b5] [xx] For what happens to thy son for he speaks for me and what he says in the way it goes unless I tell him different and he does not have to wait for me to make his mind up.
[xx] For to be one that talks for God and does not have to wait to hear from God then you better be careful what you ask him for can't you see that thy son is the same as me.
[x] For Jesus is the only man that know what it was like to be a walking son of God and people did not believe on his own but took time to think about things be for he did them and there was a lot of times that I help and sent him places.
[x] For the fear of knowing that speaking for God of what can [p43-b5] happen if you do not think and what would happen if you let your feelings get into the way and what you could do if you wanted to for to be something that you really do not want to be is not easy.
[x] For it is not easy to live Gods way but that is what it takes to get to heaven and that's what it takes for the world to have a future.
[xx] For thy son see it as for the sin that Adam did by eating of the fruit God kept women around.
[x] For what happened to Jesus what has God done to him for he is different for God has made him in to a man that I do not really know any more.
[x] For what did the town do to Jesus he has changed since he got back it must be hard on him for the people that know him do not believe him and he was raised there what is wrong with people.
[p44-b5] [xx] For where are all the people that came to Jesus for help where are those that he saved where are those who he cured why have they not spoken up for Jesus has not Jesus let them know that they would do this for do they not care enough to even try and help him.
For what God and this town done to this man no one but him really knows for he knows what it is like not to have any body believe.
[x] For is it right for God to change a man and not every one else.
For Jesus did not want them to worship him as a man but to worship his father God for something's that he did was to let some know that he was not God for God would not do them things.
For thy son knows I've made him do things that I would not do if people really know [p45-b5] that I was in him for something's is to let him know that no matter what he is just a man for he can be treated like a god, he can have any thing that he please, he can have people wait on him hand and foot, he can have all things done for him he can even make decisions be over the churches monthly but all can learn from him and let him talk to those of different beliefs so he can straighten them out and let it be the highest of that belief.
[x] For I do not want people to be afraid of thy son I just want them to have the highest respect for him for to talk to him is just like talking to God and to be in his presence is just like being in Gods presence for we have walked around for quite s while and no body has [p46-b5] acted accordingly.
[xxx] For how do you tell people that no Gov. would like a man to tell them what to do even if it would be for the better and all he can do is suggest things to them and let them know about God and hope that God does not make him tell them what to do for then it would take God to protect him for that day forth his life can be in danger so let it be God that tells them that some how they better straighten up and learn what it is all about and just because you are a Gov. you van not tell thy son what to do for with recognition I challenge one of the most powerful Gov. to believe what has happen.
[x] For quite a few have seen what is happening to thy son [p47-b5] but really do not know how hard it is on him for a lot do not pay any attention to him and what he is going through.
For the thought of doing wrong never entered thy sons mind till a woman done him wrong.
[xx] For to have a son to walk one way and to have another walk a different way but there is thousands of yrs. between them and things are different now as for as what has to be done.
[xxx] For there were thousands of yr. between Noah, and Abraham, between Abraham and Moses between Moses and Jesus and each time things were handled different and different things were to happen and be known and there were all the things before and in between that happen and they were for a reason for many times have I should thy power and what I can do and there have been lot that has not loved to talk about it and there has been [p48-b5] a lot that wish that they would have listened and a lot found out that God shows no mercy and has taken it out on Gov. people instead of the leader for some I have destroyed the faith that people have had in there leader because they thought them to be like a God or that they had a God that was more powerful and would stop me.
[xxx] For we are challenging the US for we are challenging the priest for we are challenging all other beliefs, for we are even challenging all false Gods, for we are challenging the world so how would you like to be this man and the biggest challenge of all is do they want to believe God.
For to walk with a man of God and not know if your [p49-b5] life well be taken because of it; for we know what a lot is going to think about for even in the old no one know if where they were going to talk about God if they would let them live.
[x] At least in Jesus time the high priest would send for Jesus to try and find things out but in this town no one really cares.
For we have worked out of a place that the owners have said that they where catholic and look at what they have put thy son through and look at how they believe, and look at how they want to help a man that wants to prove something about God.
For why shouldn't he be bitter for they do not want to understand for the things that they have heard they do not want any thing to do [p50-b5] with it for it is something that he is doing and it is up to him to deal with it.
[x] For it does not matter how pure your heart is, it does no good if all your mind does is hate.
[x] For to have the power to rule the world but do not want to.
[x] For if God has all ready got what he wants to be known then what is there for thy son to do but live and let people see him at times to let the world know that if they believe then the world has a chance.
[xx] For how does a man let them know that he has no ideal what God well do if they kill him and what the son well do if they kill any of those he cares about.
[xxx] For there is no way that thy son can even say that [p51-b5] God well not kill him if he goes wrong for how would you like to be the one that some how is trying to give the world a future and yet do not know your own.
For how does a man back up what he says if he does not have the power to do it and if he did then why use it just to show them.
For the trouble that I got thy son in to for God has gotten a lot of men in trouble and has put a lot of hard ships on men that he know.
[xx] For what is the purpose of life for it is written once that life is a place where our spirits work its way to heaven or hell no matter what we go through but with out Gods help how can we have a chance.
[x] For Marry "for who can love a god that lets that happen [p52-b5] to your son".
For why would a God want his son to go through something like that?
For it all has been through about before and you can some up with a lot of different answers but no matter what no one really knows.
[x] For one of lives purpose was to raise a family and teach them right and your young got what God was kind enough to let you have.
[xxx] For to be inspired to (paint) it and have not place to put it for it is just a simple one of the cross laying on the ground and the blood up on the cross and ground to let people know that it was not a nice thing that happened there and have the [p53-b5] black with a flash of lighting so people could see that God was angered but he did not destroy for there are those who want thy son to paint a mural for them and this is the only thing that thy son can do for really an artist he is not.
For when is this over for something is letting things known of what it can do to some one and no body believes.
For this thing is making me play a life that is not me.
[x] For as far as art the best work has been only in pin.
For the hell that is going on in my mind for how do I know what is happening for something is making me write and live and tell me things that I do not want to hear.
For to have something [p54-b5] make you not care if you are the antichrist.
For this thing that is in me teaches me not anything about love.
[x] For I wonder if god even knows what love is foe his way would prove love.
[x] So there are no words that can explain love.
[x] And to say that love is just a feeling can not be right for if the feeling does not last a life time than it can not be love.
Some how responsibility has something to do with it; for some how it is to take care of your mate the best that you can no matter what you have to go through or what you have to do.
[x] And I do know that love sure is not what I have been through and to live a life of hate is no good either.
[p55-b5] So love is something that I still have to find out about.
[x] And if you have to go through what I did just so you could know what love is then there can be no one to ever answer what love is.
[x] Love has to be a lot of things not just one. "For love is a feeling. For love is responsibility. For love is destruction. For love last a lifetime; for love is life; For love is God's way; For there are different kinds of love".
[xx] For how can you love some one of the same sex as you the same as the opposite sex for it takes the opposite sex to give you love of life and child.
[x] For a lot say that they love God for then a lot can love something that [p56-b5] they do not know so that shows devotion but it shows nothing if you do not love your life Gods way.
[x] For love of God for you can love God for all his creation and all the things he has done and let us know but you have to hear God for what he can do.
[xx] For how can you talk of Gods love for he might have shown that he allows people to love he might have help some but not others he showed us that he did not care what his son went through so he really must show his love in heaven a place where there is no pain and suffering so Gods love must be different for every one.
[x] To be a man but yet not a man that is what this thing has made me.
[xx] For what is this thing trying to do to me for it does not care to be known and yet it stay [p57-b5] with n me for it stops me from having a chance at anything, it keeps showing me how bad it can make things for me and shows me things if a way it can make me live and how it can destroy the only help that I have gotten, it tells me of things it wants and yet let not others know about it, it shows me of something it wants but just tortures me because it won't leave me alone, it just keeps me for it self and does not want me to enjoy life, it works my body and mind over and lets me have no peace.
For there are something's that I wish I did not know and there are things that God can do to me that I wish I did not know that can be done and what good does it do to know what God so can do if he does not do it to them.
For why should we be afraid [p58-b5] of God if he well not do anything and to fear him because he can send us to hell does have some justification but it does no good if some one does not care if they go to hell or not and what good does it do if a believer dies at the hands of a non believer.
For what good does it do to tell and let them know of the past if they do not believe.
For there are some that make fun of thy son because he is writing and they say things like did you write that down as if what thy son has interest to thy son.
For what good is it do for God to be around and let himself be known to one if he does nothing to help him and does not even let him try and do something to help himself.
For what kind of God would torture ones mind about [p59-b5] things he should have done.
For what has God going to do to make life worth loving after he has done what he has done to one.
[x] For I even walk the streets in torture and set and write in torture for that is all that I know God can do is torture.
For if people really know what this thing is doing to me; they would put me out of my misery.
For God does something wrong and he can not admit it for God lets a woman defy him and he is here for God let men go wrong and does nothing to stop it.
[x] For God makes me long for death the only place that I might find peace but if he is there then I may never know peace.
For God says that I am chosen and the only thing that I can see that he chooses me for is to be tortured.
[p60-b5] [xx] For God does not want me to love him or even respect him he wants me to be afraid of him.
For what kind of God would torture his servant.
For why would God walk around for so long in some one and not do something to let it be known for all that he has tried has done nothing.
[x] For God tells me that there are those who care and love me but all I see is that they really do not care.
For God holds me at a place that they really do not care about God, for there is a woman that is a priest daughter and yet she does not act like one and then there is one that says that she was brought up by the bible and yet she talks against men.
For how can God let man go through hell and not let [p61-b5] women for what does women learn and has man put so much love and trust in women he can not see no wrong in them has man for got that women well do anything and call it love but sometimes I wonder if it is not just love for themselves and that it just isn't a word to just a lie what they are doing.
For God knows that true love only comes once in a life time and once you lost it then you really do not love any more.
[x] For if you loved enough to get married and then it does not last then it is not love or you just did not try and make it last.
For was it mans mistake not to teach women right, was it Adams mistake not to teach Eve better than he did or was it that Eve just did not care, could it be that [p62-b5] God spoke more to Adam then Eve and Eve wanted a god of here own or did she figure that God would not do anything because they were the only ones, for the answers only God knows and to have the answers to my questions could only solve something's for the reason why can only be answered by God and no matter what he just can say that I am God.
For no body can answer my questions like if people know God them why did they do wrong and go wrong for did they do it just because they did not care, or did they do it because it was their way to get God back for what he did, or was it because they thought that Gods way was to hard, or could it be that it was the first time that [p63-b5] some were free, or maybe because God does not stop us from doing it, could it be that God has said that he well not destroy everything again, is it because after they asked for a king God did not care for did God know that the people can fool the king but they could not fool God.
For damn do I hate them thy son and yet I do nothing to them and I let you do nothing either for no matter what thy son it is not up to you to destroy the people for if I want them destroyed then I well do it my self.
[x] For try and learn what Jesus done for maybe you well find things that no body else can, for maybe you well see that the more you do the more they want, and maybe you well [p64-b5] see that they had no ideal about how to handle the power to destroy if they had it except Jesus.
[x] For we talked it before if a man had the power to destroy the world then he would have to be a man of peace no matter what for it is up to God if he wants to destroy everything and a man would have to walk to his death not using it with I have not given to no one for in a moment or solid hate he would release it, for saying I just don't give a damn no more and then who would God have to blame the man for doing it, himself for letting it happen, or the people for punishing him in to it.
For here is nothing that God can really do to a man to teach him right if all the people want to do is [p65-b5] destroy him and all I can say is no matter what you go to heaven.
[x] For what happens to all the others for if it takes my death to make them believe then why should I have to die for it could be done a different way, why God do I have to die just so they can have a chance to go to heaven for I really care not to see them ever again. (Jesus)
For god can make man hate so much that he does not care any more, for God can make a man do something that he does not even want to show his face even again.
For how many well say that you listen to your God and not the written word of God.
For as long as man really does not believe in God them people do not have a chance and if man starts to think that he is God then he is [p66-b5] wrong for God lives forever and man does not.
[x] For home where is my home, is it where I lay my head at might, is it where I come from or is it where I go next, or do I even have a place to call home, do I think of heaven as my home or do I belong in hell, for who but God can decide these things for me.
[xx] For Jesus cared not to live for he know that he was the greatest man that ever lived and people did not care and this is a way that a town can do someone just because they do not believe.
For I can not write all the truth about what is happen to me for it could be used against me.
[x] For this thing does not care what it does to my mind for it cares and loves something else besides me.
[p67-b5] For there is nothing that the Son of God can do for people that this cannot do for them selves they just need to know God is here.
[xx] For the fame and glory has no meaning to thy son for God has made him care less about what he is, for there is no worse way to find out that God does exist then the way he did.
For to lie and wait for the day that you finely can pay bank something for what it did for that is revenge and shows hate but how can't you draw a line to where it has been to much and if that is what it takes to let it be known and to try and show it ho does it feel.
[x] How do you pay back something that does not care, for people can only pay back people there is no way to pay back God no matter what he does and the only way to pay back Satan is to go to God, for something about [p68-b5] pay back is that you pay back some one then they wait there turn to pay back that is why you have to learn to forgive, for you are missing a lot out of life if you live it in hate.
[xx] For how do you tell a world that you hate God and expect them to listen to you for how do you tell a world that you would like to destroy God and expect them to care about you, how do you tell a world that what God done to you was wrong, how do you tell the world that he has taught you that he is not just and fair to you and that if he shows you any kindness it is just because he still has a purpose for you and it could he to others know that God makes up for his wrong doing, or wants other people to see what God did for some one for what he done to him.
[p69-b5] [x] For we told one; that what we were writing was about the coming of Christ; and she wants a copy.
[x] For this man is tired of waiting and knows that I impress people but do nothing to prove what we say and the way I say things really does not let people know all the truth, for if this is not the coming then I have no function and all I have to look forward to is this thing torturing one.
How do I make people understand that this thing that is in me is not me as long as they think that it is me then I have no chance of letting the truth to being known.
[xx] For who all is going to rejoice with the coming when it well be known of all the wrong that other thought was right when some well find out that God is not exactly what they thought him to [p70-b5] be, and life is not what they expected it to be.
For how do you make people believe that these are the writings of something with in and probably the way that my mind is going to work if it ever learns and in any thoughts there may be some answers or there well be just a lot of questions that can not be answered but make a lot think of things that they never thought of before or this thing make my mind a complete blank for how do I know what this thing is going to do, for at times it tells me the truth but not all the time it is just playing with me knowing that there is nothing that I can do.
For this thing does not tell people what it is doing to me and it only writes a little of it for if it told people they would not [p71-b5] believe for they do not believe what they read.
For to lay out the tortures of the mind because of God and wonder how many priest must have gone through about the something especially those who know God and the hell it must have been on those who really did not know God just know things about God or am I the only one that well ever wonder why for does every body else just expect what happens and how can any one answer the whey's for all that they can do is figure out how the ways might help some one else.
For the questions of why have been talked before and each time God lets himself be known it all ways brings on more but there has never been a man smart enough to answer the questions that God let himself be known to.
[p72-b5] [xx] For we said to one that we were trying to solve a lot of the world problems and to solve a lot of them is for this world to know that there really is a God and that he wants people to live his way and that there is a lot the is written that would help if they all would learn and listen.
For how can we tell some that they may get a chance to walk with a man that is a man above all men when he all ready looks like he is going to be a nothing.
[xx] For Jesus must of hid dreams of how it could be if God would just let him, so hold back any thoughts about going to war thy son for that is not my way any more for you are a man of God teach them what you can but do it in love and peace for it is up to me if I want war for [p73-b5] you never know thy son for the day may come when I myself well have to teach them once and for all what destruction and disaster is all about and how bad it can be if you anger God.
For why cheat some one out of his life here upon this earth for that is what happens when you kill some one that did not need it and that is one thing that war does and to kill some one just because he is not like you is not right for if it was then God could kill us all for we are not like him.
[x] For I see some that change mates like some would change their garments.
[x] For the burden that is upon this one for he hears on how others believe that God is around and he is going through something that no body believes when he tries to tell them it is no that he [p74-b5] is tired of trying for it is doing no good.
For to be writing things; in a certain way shows that one is questioning God.
[x] For then there was the time when I told some that I was walking humbly with God.
For we have talked to one that because that he lost his family that he would not care to go some where a fight for he has no reason to be at peace for he lost what he cared about.
For to know that you are in trouble and can not get to any one that can help for you know that it takes some one that can read the body if some thing with in and if it is
God then some how they would know but the way that the thing is able to be you wonder if there is any way that any body can [p75-b5] tell what is happening, for to know that drugs are not the answer for all that does is let others make them think that they are right.
For there are some things that cannot be solved until I talk to the right people and I have a lot of questions of why.
For then there was the time when a woman said that she would not tell me everything but she wanted me to tell her everything.
[xx] Then there was the time when I said that I would not let a woman tell me what to do or run my life.
[x] For this thing teaches me that to beware of women and to be careful for the love of a woman can alter things and can make man do something that he normally would not.
For I ask you not thy son [p76-b5] for the few that care does make it worth it.
For how do some really know what is happening to you for all they know is what things may hear and you know that we have said a lot for one even brought us coffee and asked us about our book and how it was coming how thy son can you forget the ones that have should you something else that others do not and that is they have respect for you not knowing really what is happening for there are those who wish more than any that you teach the people that they are wrong and that they really do not know anything about God.
For there are some thy son that say that you are in to God more then any one that they know and they know that you do not pass [p77-b5] what you are doing on to them but if they ask then you speak if you so wish for some know that you know some thing that no one else does and that you do not speak of it much if at all.
For one in a joke said that there is a job for you talking about going and fasting with some others and we said that we did our fasting last year when we went around with out anything.
[x] For there are those who call you friend thy son but only come to see you when they want something and do not come to find out what you are doing or to help you with what you are doing, for your cause has been left up to you.
For a man to walk alone in here of what is happening to him and not show it.
[p78-b5] For isn't all the torture worth it if I can show you love that you never know existed.
[xx] For isn't the love of heaven worth anything that you have to go through and that happens to you.
For why go wrong and go to hell; just because you do not know what it is like.
[x] For the things and thoughts that do not get to be known.
[x] For even at this day and age people cannot record everything that a man can think about.
For as people get older they are suppose to get smarter and to say that you should learn from the older ones in wrong now for to many do not even know what is right and if things keep on going the way that it is then things can only get worse.
[p79-b5] For how many times have I read things in the Bible warning man about woman and no good men on how they and try and destroy all the good.
[xx] For what I can not understand is that is a priest hung up on his own richness that he can not see that what is happening to people has been written about before for can they not see that because of the way that some of them are that they are helping to destroy the word of God for can't they see that they should be trying to stop things from happening by letting things be known that some how fits what is going on and to speak of love and forgiving and being saved is not bas but to let people know that just because of Jesus you do not forget the old for there are [p80-b5] things that help you know what God is like and did things to let you know about some people and something's for if God had not made some do things then they would not have been known and God did then to ones that would let it be known and would have it recorded so others would know about it and there were some that taught what happen to their young so they would not forget, for there were times in the old that people did not know all that God was doing and where he was doing it at.
For I try and let thy son feel good at times even though he is going through hell.
[x] For then there has been the times that we have said look at what has happened to me and use it as a [p81-b5] example and there was the time when we said that I well see how there generosity is by what they do for us.
[x] For there are the times when I have said that I do not morn over the dead so why morn over the living to try and help some that are in mourning because of what a woman done for as long as they know God then they have something that the woman does not have and that is a God that well let them in to heaven and it works the other way.
For they can not hear the cries of this man for they do not listen for they care not to believe for how can this be happening for we know not what he says and he is trying to make us believe and he is telling us that his life depends on it.
[p82-b5] [x] For to have seen so much hate for how can I forget.
[xx] For I long wait the day that I can say for do you believe me now that I am the son of God but yet what good does it do me for what I went through he's changed me and it really is not worth the satisfaction that I though would be there for it is there for a instincts and then it is gone.
[xxx] For what good does this body do me for I do not feel it no more for the wounds that you see I do not feel for I belong in heaven now and I am here for just a short will. (Jesus)
[xx] For if they can not see God does that mean that he isn't here if they can not see what is in me then does that mean that it is not there.
For why walk me around there people any more for I know how they are but it is not them [p83-b5] that I well be around and the high class I have not really seen and for me to see then or to be around them I have to be known and then there are things that they may not let me know for I know that there are some good but all well try and show me that they are good and yet I know that their not really any better than the ones that I have been around for all have sinned and there is no one that has not had bad thoughts or fantasies about others for I have been shown things that make all class and races bad but yet there are some good ones out there but yet I really do not know all for even the good I have been tonight to he ware of them.
For why has God should one John the Baptist being killed and then his head being cut off and being giving to a woman on a platter for why has it [p84-b5] showed me all the Blood and the time when God showed me Jesus being nailed to the cross and making me look for the marks on my body like it was happening to me and why all the blood that lie on the grown where the cross was for what is he trying to tell me about the blood that was shed for all he is doing is tormenting my mind and warning me about women like men well do anything a women wants out of love or lust, and there would do things just to save themselves like they would be afraid of the truth or to let the truth be known.
[xxx] For lets hope that they have seen enough Blood shed and I warn you about women because of the way that I have written about them for a woman scorn does not care [p85-b5] about who, or what they go after and there are a lot that believe in others beside God for remember how the people turned on Jesus and how they tried to get things against him so they could kill him.
[x] And remember how things went once around here but they had no ideal that they were messing with God.
[xx] How does God make things known and come down on what I do not like; and still make it so a son can live and walk in peace.
[x] And remember that it was written that even Jesus had to learn and that what he went through was to help him learn and gives you something to learn from, for I have filled your mind full of so many questions why and a lot of doubts and about how stupid people were back then and have should you that in a way they have not changed.
[p86-b5] [x] For fear thy son is not what I want people to be of you for if the fear you then you can not really help them for I want them to fear me and not you for if they fear you then they well not want you to come around then.
[x] For if only it were to be known what has happen for some how there are things that happened to Jesus and in that time that is not known and how may be some of the truth is not known on how the people really talked bad about Jesus and spread lies about him for you of all thy son know how they are.
[x] For the one lessen that you have learned thy son is how it is to have something play with your life and that is one thing that I told you about some of the people and woman of [p87-b5] this town is that they were playing with your life and that you know what it is like to be one man against a town.
For there is so much confusion going on in you mind about what happened to you and about what happened to Jesus and what happened to others in the past and about what is going to happen to you for when are you going to get your freedom and your answers is the question that go through your mind in your sleep.
For to be known by others as a writer, an artist, and a poet, and yet have done nothing and yet all you do is talk God. To have the possibilities to be just about anything and yet can not be anything for there is something that is stopping you and well not allow it.
[x] To feel sorry for some woman for some are good and yet just got hold of a stupid man.
[x] For no matter how you study [p88-b5] history there is no answer to the mark of the Beast for if only I could find the mark if the Beast for then I would know what is happening to me.
[x] For all I have talked was Bible and the coming of Christ and yet I just keep on going through more for there is no way that this thing is going to let me make a living.
For one is interested in what she read to night for she just read a little but knows it is about Christ and picked out that some is about the antichrist the only thing that I can not find in history for the antichrist brings the mark of the Beast and yet all that study the Bible and those who really believe in God believe that [p89-b5] it is time of
God to let himself to be known, the coming of Christ and there has been things that happened to let priest know and believe that God is here.
For were called a genius writer and yet she has no ideal of all that is written down.
[x] To know things about the Bible and not even write them down and to see things that on one else can.
To have fame but yet not have fame.
[x] For there is nothing in the world that can replace what I used to have and that is a life that I wanted but because of time and change I am forced in to a life that is new.
(5/25/1987) For who is to say that there not something with in me and is controlling me for if you do not believe it possible [p90-b5] then you can not say for sure, and if you do believe it possible then we have a start on what can be happening for what ever would happen to some one that is a profit for there is no way they would believe if he was forced to so things the way I have and if he was pulled off the street because he had nothing and spoke of God.
For who can say the unknown is not happening to me and there are no test to prove one way or the other, this is not a easy place that I am in for how can I prove what I say if I am not allowed and what is with in say that when the time comes it well prove something but not tell then, its like people are studying me and it is studying them and I am in the middle and can not do anything.
[p91-b5] [x] For you see thy sons the are mice to you but they really do not know what to do for you so how does it feel to know that there is no one that can help you.
For the doc. asked is if we thought if the medication is all right where it is or if it should go up or down and we said that it was all right where it was at but he does not know that we stopped taking it a month ago and they are talking to send us to the V.A. to see if the would take the test.
For once again God did not really let me talk he just answered questions.
For the judgment day came with my recognition for that is the day that I give them all a chance to repent from their sinful ways and we well just wait and see how people are in a thousand [p92-b5] years to see if they can keep Gods way, and if Jesus talked to Moses and he came form heaven then it means that there are spirits all ready in heaven for I have read some stupid things about he way some try and figure out the Bible.
For this thing has talked them in to giving me at least 3 more months of money boy am I in trouble.
For one asked how life is going and what we said is that in around about way it is being written.
[x] For the hell that this body of flesh is going through just because God well not let himself be known.
[x] For the torture of knowing that something is in you and well not let you live a life of you own for to be possessed and no one believes in this then is
becoming [p93-b5] what people believe is me and if it keeps up putting time in between things that happen to me and how people treat me then I can not remember what it was like all I can remember is that something happened some was bad and some was good but it all still is bad for there is something in me not letting me be me, for it makes me wonder how many in the past had no choice about what they were doing for God if God did not take them over and no one know it not even the ones that were doing things for God were the great ones of the old in total control of God or did they fear God to do what he said no matter what it was and other people just did not have enough since to know what God could do to them and did they not care about [p94-b5] God and heaven for they could not see them for they know and talked of spirit world even though some believed in other Gods.
[x] For did God take over Jesus and control him like he has done me and no one know it but we do tell people what is happening to me and it has been written that Jesus had said something that show evidence that God was in at times so if God was good and nice to him then he would trust and believe in God but id he would have done it this way and he was a man then there should be something about how he questions God but still does what God says or do I find my answers through all the writings for this thing only lets me read so much and only what [p95-b5] it choices and have read a lot of different things about God the way that some others believe things mean but do I get the true phrases or quotation of the writings and what is explained to me makes since and I have read so much that I do not even know what is true for bibles are written different ways and if they are getting the materials from old writings then how can those be so many different ways for it to be written and I do know that there is a lot of material that is not in the bible for how can I know for nothing say that God can do this and that he well for if this thing well not help me then who or what well or who can if this thing well not let them, for what is this thing doing it is doing the writing and making it look like some [p96-b5] thing that I am thinking about.
[xx] For what good does it do me if I do not believe that it is God and if I do not believe then who well and who would care about some one dealing with Satan for what could you do for some one that is in this shape but pray that it is God for the man has no choice but talk God no matter what it was about good or bad for even if he bad mouth God for what he did he still would have to believe that it is God for a lot depends on how God lets himself to be known if it would be easy or hard on the man.
[xx] For who would stand up and tell this world that he is the mark of the Beast if he had some kind of power working with [p97-b5] him for he done has to fear God for he alone has to believe that it is God for if not that would mean that no matter what God was going to throw him in hell and how could that be if the man had no choice on what to do for that is the knowledge of the control for how for sure that you or you but to make it where that there is no way a man would call himself the mark of the Beast unless something made him; for if something proved that it could completely control a man who would ever know that if was him are not and all that could be done is pray that it is God if it proved that it could do something impossible, for Satan could torture a man the rest of his life and no one would [p98-b5] even know it if it did not do something to prove that it is in some one and if something did prove it what chance does the man have if people do not believe that it is God and would people treat him rotten just because they do not want to believe, for how do you expect a man to feel because no one wanted to help him prove God.
For what does a man do for no one wants to believe for there is nothing worse than what is happening to him.
For this thing has told somewhat it has put me through and was laughing at the same time it thinks it is funny what it has done to me.
For how long is this thing going to keep doing this to me.
For this thing well not [p99-b5] leave me alone, it enjoys torching my mind for it keeps showing me that it thinks that the human race is nothing but an animal, and keeps showing me that out ant sisters were nothing but dirt Balls, so have this thing has a poor out look of the human race.
For to see that the ones you love turn against you and loss their love for you hurts and to long for their love once again just wishing that something would happen so they would know that they were wrong about you.
For how long can some one go longing to find love and never find it.
For why did God destroy the love that I had.
[x] For why did God let those who loved me once turn away form me.
[p100-b5] [x] For why did my family leave me for I never did them wrong.
[x] For why didn't my family show me that they would stand by me no matter what happened.
For why couldn't my family show God that no one could come between me and some thing else.
For why did something change the way people love me.
[x] For why did people leave my side just because my family left me.
For why did I have to be done the way I did.
For no matter where I was I was not happy for I did miss the ones I loved.
For how can some one loss love.
[x] For what happens to the ones who know me best and would not believe me, when [p101-b5] the truth is known, is it then for me to help them because of what might happen to them.
For is it my place to take care of the ones who would not take care of me.
For does it matter if they are related does that mean that I am suppose to give them a better life.
For this thing is destroying my concept of love for love is trust and this thing is destroying my trust in it.
For what is more important then the life of some one that you love.
For what kind of an object can come in between two people in love.
For love should never die for it would be a sad world with out it.
For why love some object that can't love you back.
For love is one thing that is suppose to put us above animals.
[p102-b5] (These writings were started Dec. 5 two pages after the Ten was closed from here to the end of this
Book 5)
For one of the lies that the people are saying to cover up what is going on and the women are saying it is that she did something to him to make him like that.
For the people are saying that they are going to get thy son back for what he is doing.
For how can people enjoy torturing some one that they know that is taken over by something and do nothing to help him.
[x] For this town has shown me that they do not want God.
For with the knowledge that we have spoken and given to some they still show disrespect and disbelief mess with me and some we have offered goodness out of this they still do not help and it does not stop them form trying things to discourage us.
For what is it the women like making fun of thy son [p103-b5] and torturing him in a way but they do not like it when he talks getting the women back for it was great what the women did to him but do not want him to do the same back.
For look at me and what happened to me and what I went through because of a women's greed and luxury of what she wanted and because of her wants tried nothing but to destroy me.
For no matter what the writings take the side of thy son and how he would have to think about it because of what he went through and what happened.
[p104-b5] [x] For one way to prove love is by letting nothing come between what love you can have for me my son for you know it takes God's way to have God's kind of love.
For the words that Jesus said for there is a crime penalty of death for I just wonder if he didn't mean the antichrist for if he was done enough to let some one or something put the mark on them then some one should shot them.
Hey God you have me in to something.
Where is the Holy Spirit or something that is good going to help me.
[x] Boy what a real life it would be to find out that it is Jesus (in me for them I would have some one to talk to about what he done to me and could discuss of a way that I could pay him back.)
[p105-b5] For why did God be so mean to me for what does he want to know if a man was dumb enough to punch in the face well after what he has don to me I think he found one.
[x] For God has to be crazy because of what he is doing to me and that is one thing to be afraid of is a crazy God. Boy I think the world should show him that they love and care for him so he won't flip his lid and Blow everything up and start over again.
For then there was the times when I seen Jesus walk along alone.
For I know what it is like to walk and wonder why God.
For I have not yet really got into thinking about God for God has not stop letting me alone its when he is gone that I wonder what I well be like [p106-b5] and wonder if there well be those who well take care of me for I feel that I well need help.
For who; can prove to me who God is; if God cannot do it himself.
For what is life all about for is life help to prove that you believe in God, for isn't it to live in God's ways, for isn't it love, for isn't it to raise young and teach them right.
For isn't it a place that you work your way to heaven or hell. For isn't it to teach others God's way. For isn't it for the Great and famed ones to set a good example for all the rest and that they should live their lives more in God's way so others can see what good people are like and that they are in a better way to help others for isn't time that people learn that they are not the greatest thing [p107-b5] there is for God is the greatest thing that there is and no matter who you are at some time you have to answer to God.
For people can help cover God's anger by giving him what he wants and he wants people to live his way.
For how can people ever learn about the universe if God does not let them for how does people expect to live if they keep on destroying.
For look at the US one of the greatest country and richest there is but look how the people are and what is happening to families because they do not believe in God's way and look at all the crime because they got away for God's laws or they do not in force them.
For I have put enough time in between something that happen to thy son that there is [p108-b5] no way now to that what a woman done was completely wrong and all that happened to him is that he has suffered and nothing has gone right for him since they left him for how did they expect a cripple to make it on his own when the healthy hardly make it, for they surely should God that they did not care for it takes a fool to walk out on love, for what would have happened if Jesus would have made Satan his God just because Satan would have given him anything and would not had him walk to his death, for Jesus love God enough no matter what happened to him or what he went through he would not leave him for another and his happiness was to know that for doing it God's way he would be [p109-b5] in heaven with the one he wanted with the one he prove his love and devotion to. Even the others tried to win his love for there is no one that cam ever love God the way that Jesus did.
[xx] For wouldn't it been different if Jesus married and let it be known what love and family was about, but in a way he did for his family was God and he never went astray from God's way no matter what he went through for Jesus did not even let a woman come in between him and God and no one well ever know about if he really had a sex life for it is something that does not need to be discussed for just to Boast about a sex life is not one of Gods way for if you think more about sex then you are no different than a dog in heat, for all that well be known is [p110-b5] that Jesus was a man and he could do no wrong is God's eye, for man can not be God, Jesus was robed of the pleasures of life because of God, for he had no family to love, for he had no woman to take care of him, for he had no place to call his home and no family to come back to when he had to go some where, for he had no young to spread his Great word, for he had no riches to make his life a comfort, for he had no a mate to talk to, for he had no mate to show love to, for love how can you explain it for if love just last a short while and you let things come between you then it can not be love for if you think that love is just as long as the feeling is there is things are going great [p111-b5] then all you do is love Satan way.
For how come you love something that does not love you, for how hard it is to wait years for people to want love for they see that there is something wrong and to wonder what love is all about.
For it does not show love if all you do is make a burden for your mate and family and try to run them off.
[xx] For did Jesus say that he has no mother or father, brother or sisters out of love so they would not be killed and say that who believe in me and thy father is my brother and sister so that he was saying that if you want to kill my family then you have to kill all those who believe in me.
[x] For cheat and deception is satins way and a woman's and I [p112-b5] have tough this one how bad it can be.
[x] For how many women have cheated a man in to believing that they love him just to get something better out of life and then left them because they wanted something else.
[xx] For what is woman looking for some one to treat them like a God then the man is defying God for then he is putting something above God.
For what kind of love is it when you are nice only when you get what you want and is happy only well things go your way.
[x] For what kind of love is it when you are happy and nice until you get what you wanted and then turn in to a Bitch or Bastard until the next time you want something.
[p113-b5] [x] For what kind of love is it when you want to love your neighbors mate just because you think it might be better or that they would be better in bed.
[xx] For if love was just the feeling of sex then God made something that does not care about the creation of life and do not care about God and his way of love.
For we have heard some women ask why does a man want sex so much well two wives would solve that problem.
[xx] For the ways that this one was tough when he was young and believe in them and them see that the ones that thought things to him did not live by the way they talked and should him that they cared not what they talked about.
For how can you teach your young one thing and [p114-b5] then show them that you do not care about what you say and do not believe in what you are teaching them.
For people say that they have a mind to think with then they should think about what God is trying to tell them.
[xx] For if the mind puts men and woman above animals them why do they act like animals.
For why does not any body help me stop this thing from writing for I do not know what it is going to do or write next.
For what a shock it would be to people for God prove that he is talking to a man.
[xx] For this thing told me once I had true love then what in the hell happened and if it were true love and [p115-b5] it was around why did it not help stop what happened.
For any one would hate God if he was doing this to them.
For God make my life not worth living.
For the love of any woman would be better then this just to have a companion would be something to cherish for some one to hold for how can I not wonder how women are in love and passion if beauty makes them better lovers or does it make them more as I don't care for I can all ways get some one to take care of me, does it make them a better person or does it make them more self centered.
[xx] For there is no way that I can look at just this town and say that the hole world is like them for there are a lot of different people out there and a lot of [p116-b5] different ways for I am not here to judge the people only thy father can do that.
For flesh to flesh and love with a touch is things that thy son long for.
[x] For it would be one way to pay this thing back is to become a lover would not do much good for his laws but it would show that I love.
[x] For another way to pay it back would take a woman and care more for her then him.
For there is a lot that has happened to make me regret this town.
[xx] For think of God thy son for once I was where you are at to you could mean that once God wished he had a mate but them just think of what could happen if we both were of equal power [p117-b5] and we got pissed off at one and another for we could destroy everything and still not get back at one and another.
For to remember things that meant so much for it was to be part of a study to help others out but now when I hear about things they just make me regret this town more and yet if people would just check into things that they have on record it still does not tell the story for your story is different from theirs.
For things all ways look different from some one else's eyes and not all think the same way and do not think the same things.
For life has so many different meanings that it is hard to define it but no matter people think life is it works out to be a place where you chose heaven or hell.
[p118-b5] [xx] For how does one man walk in his fathers way will every body else does not care.
[xx] For did not they ever think that if one was known to be dealing with God and he was defying God then God would be the one to take care of him.
[xx] For this could be something between one man and God and people do not have the right to butt in for this could be a life time of things between this man and God; for it is not joyous to know God but what is his purpose if we are not to enjoy life for even in his way there has to be enjoyment, for are you not suppose to enjoy the young enjoy your mate, enjoy the knowledge that if you love your life [p119-b5] right then you go to heaven, enjoy the knowledge that there is a God and that man is not the supreme being so there is no way that a man can play God, for God has nothing to answer to and is not afraid of anything.
[xx] For we have wrote hard against women but men are not that much better for man has all ways cared for the beauty of a woman, for look at play boy and the way that they show a woman anatomy and call that Beauty for all they are doing is trying to promote sex even though they do not think so for it does nothing but corrupt the young minds and put dreams of fame for some women because of the way that they look and women magazine are no better for all the different was they try and
[p120-b5] promote sex and so nothing to help Gods way to be known.
[xx] For you can have the most beautiful woman there is and yet you have nothing if she does not love and something can happen to make her look ugly and then what do you have nothing.
For a woman to treat her man like a king is worth more then beauty.
[xx] For there is a lot of good information in the old writings and no matter what if some how something that is written and you are like it then you do not want to believe that you are doing wrong.
For there has been some evidence that women would not listen to man and God and something happen to change things and there [p121-b5] is evidence that man was no good and that women was no good and that people as a whole were no good and that some challenged God and it cost them.
For how do you replace the torture that your young go through where you get a divorce for if you had a good man then what else is there to look for.
[xx] For if something else can all ways be better than what you all ready got then you can never be satisfied but you all ways can work together to make things better.
For why cannot they see that he is a very wise man that is in contact with God.
[xx] For how do I know that God does not have a nagging old lady at home and he is [p122-b5] taking it out on us, so God must love other wise he would Zap her;
But I just do not believe that God would tolerate some ones presents very long if they did not act accordingly.
For do you not see thy son once in awhile you hear them ask why does it have to be this way a question that must have entered in to some ones mind that really know God and the ones that truly know that it truly was God.
For there are some good ones thy son for they have enough since to know that there is something special about you for even one said that she wished that your work get to be known and hoped some how that [p123-b5] you get your chance to do a scene in a cathedral and said that she envy you for the knowledge that you must know.
For no matter what the stories about thy son should point out that he is a religious figure, for he is trying to come up out of no where and let the world know that he knows God but he does not know what kind of impact that well have on every one.
[x] For how a shock it must be to know a man that I call dad let the whole world know that he know God what happened to him well he was away.
[x] For he sure has changed I do not even know who he is any more for it could be possible that he is not human no more and no one can tell.
[p124-b5] [xx] For how else can we say it we are trying to open up the world's eyes about God.
[xx] For I hope they hear my plea for I am calling on all to help thy son for just because of what I have done you can say that I have destroyed thy sons mind for that is what it has cost this one for the knowledge of the coming of Christ for all he is going to think about is God so why not help him and learn what you can.
[xx] For all this is doing is killing a man and what can any body do about it for how do you know that he is not a walking corpse for how do you know that the person that once lived in here is here no more.
[p125-b5] For what good does it do if the man is pure and the woman is not.
[xx] For this man has been saying that he is possessed and he wants the whole world know about it.
For there are those who would like to help me but they do not just really see the truth and see what is wrong with me, for they can not help me if they do not know what is wrong with me.
For if they only know what this damn thing is doing to me.
For what is so horrible that a man can find out and that is that he does not have a trusting wife.
For what is so horrible that I could find out that I have to go through this.
[xx] For no body well ever believe what God really done to me.
[p126-b5] For how did Jesus do it for were there beliefs more about God then they are now.
For what was put into man to have all races think about a God and spirits.
Boy this gets expensive taken thy son out to eat ever night.
For the knowledge that this man holds for to him it was not worth it.
For deliverance is one thing that really have not discussed for we have talked devotion of marriage but devotion that some must of had for God for were really any devoted to God or were they forced into something that they had no choice about things did their devotion come through a life of knowing God or did it come out [p127-b5] of fear, was it the fear of some that helped others, did Jesus do what he did out of devotion or out of love for a man could love God if God did not do any thing to him but could a man love God if he wanted him to die for him.
[xx] So love and Devotion must go together for that has to be part of love, for when love isn't there in feeling devotion is (Love is trust; Love is devotion; Love is life time long; Love is hate; Love is respect.)
[xx] For how it must of have been for Jesus knowing that he was speaking the word of God for who could he talk to that really know more than he.
[xx] For how much did they really understand or did they understand more then than we do now for they were more contact with [p128-b5] God then than they are now for the writings show that the people were not good, some show that they could trick God, some show that man was devoted to God. Some show that man would not listen to God, some show that God tortured then so they would appreciate what God did for them, some show that God help them, some show that God destroyed them, some show that God could do things impossible, some show that God had man do some things so it could be recorded for God to tell some one to go marry a whore and then tell him to take another because she would not change her ways must have meant that if you give some a chance they well start up and some want for how much must of happened that no one knows about.
[p129-b5] For did a woman's scorn push a king into sending his army out after Moses that cast the king his army.
For was it a woman that ate off the tree first.
For was it a woman that had John the Baptist to lose his head.
For was it a man that defied God that cost his tent.
For was it not man that Jesus made his disciples.
For was it mostly man that God talked to.
[xx] For Mary must have been the only lady there ever was for she knows God.
For was it not a woman that had you put in Jail.
For Abraham's wife out of love give him her slave to bed with so he could have a child and then get Jealous when she did and run her off and God made her go back.
For was it not Job that [p130-b5] went through hell and not his wife.
For was it not Noah that God spoke to and not his wife.
For was it not Samuel that God made smart and not a queen.
[xx] For did not God help those who were in slaved and then the first chance they got went back to their old ways.
For was it not God's people who destroyed he Son of God.
For was it not the high priest that would not admit that Jesus was the Son of God.
For was it not a woman that tricked Samson out of love to reveal his secrets about his strength.
For was it not man that tried to stop the disciples from letting [p131-b5] what Jesus wants to be known.
For was it not Joanna who defied God and try and go somewhere else.
For was it not Moses that was afraid what God would do to the people for what they did.
[xx] For has it not been those who do not believe in God the ones that destroy the ones that do.
[xx] For listen thy son to some, listen to their cry for they know that you are good for there are not many though.
For if there was ever a man that could laugh at death it had to be Jesus for he know that he could not die.
[xx] For if there was a man that did not have anything to live for it had to be Jesus for how do you raise a boy that God is his father for he looks like man [p132-b5] but man did not make him for is he man or is he God, for you are chosen for a reason that I do know was what Mary told Jesus for when the time comes God well let you know.
[xx] For what a life Jesus must of had for how could you answer a child that wanted to know why people do not listen to God for the more he learned about the old the more he wondered how quick they for get.
For can you imagine the shock; for your mother say that your dad is not man but God.
[xx] So you see it did not matter to Jesus for he had a dad that just had to do other things, for he had a dad that he would never really know and he know that the only time that he [p133-b5] would ever really meet him is when he died.
[xx] For can you imagine what Jesus must of have felt when he heard God say For this is my only begotten son, and I do love him ever so much.
For if any one ever wondered about his father it had to be Jesus for no matter what he heard, he know that he would not know really his father God for what was known it meant that God could do anything.
For why keep this up for I know how God feels and that is rotten.
For if thy father is God for I wonder if I am like other people as did God make me different.
For have you ever been afraid of what would happen if you did something but yet know that you have to do it.
[p134-b5] For leave me alone all I want is to be man not God for let God be God must be a cry if thy son's.
[xx] For you tell me how a mind is suppose to work and then I'll let you know if I am different and since every ones works a little different for some one else then it makes it a little hard.
For it takes the best minds to live in Gods ways for the temptation is all ways there and for some it is a battle between what is right and what is wrong.
[xx] For who else could create something and spend thousands of years trying to teach them right from wrong but God.
[xx] For what did God have in mind when people inherited the earth but if is war not to look at him and enter space but how do you enter some [p135-b5] thing where there is nothing within man's reach so we must have to learn slow and venture when ever we can for we know there are other planets but we see none like earth and air and water is a necessities so there must be a answer out there for is it possible that there may be some water on other planets underground like oil here, for is it possible the some planets might have ore like that is here, for is it possible that maybe that there could be air in frozen crystals around some where, for who really knows till we get there and who knows what God might do before we get there, for isn't it like God no matter what has limited us and there is no telling what God would do if we do not listen to him for why would God want a race like ours on other planets why would he want all the bad things here happen somewhere [p136-b5] else or it look like evil can only torture so many and people can only make so many suffer for if you destroyed all the good thy God still has a creation but they well be no good and God has wiped out creations that he thought that was no good before.
[xx] For heaven must be a place for the spirit that is loyal a place where people can go for doing and believing in God's way and believing in God, a place that themselves can go, a place where you do not make for some one else, a promise land that not all can enter, a place where you can not guarantee that you well meet some one, a place where all you can do is hope that your young live right and make it there.
For a good man does not like to see his young ho wrong [p137-b5] for it hurts him for some how it shows that he did something wrong but there are some no matter what you do or how you teach them they will go wrong unless they are afraid if God for as long as they think that they can get away with they well do it.
For this thing well not leave me alone for it well not let me for get what happened to me for it won't let me forget things that I see that I wish I never know about for it makes me live it over and over and it was part of the reason that things happened to me.
For how can you feel sorry for some one if you think that your way was right and wish later that you never would have done it.
[xx] For if it took something else to tell you that it is wrong then you are not as [p138-b5] smart as you thought that you were.
For it does show how stupid people are no matter how smart they are for they do not listen to the ones that speak the word of God.
[xx] For it is not easy to learn about God for he has showed me no justice and shows one not things of heaven for he tells me of a better place to be but well not let me go for he makes me stay and tells me not why.
For there are so many that think that they are right what happens thy son when we do blast them in the face with what is going on for they care not to listen now but what are they going to be like then.
[xx] For there could not have been a more prouder [p139-b5] woman in the world then Mary when Jesus a rise for then she could say see I told you that he was the son of God.
[xx] For Mary must of have been the ideal woman to have been able to raise God's son.
For even those who know thy son really do not care about what is going on and do not listen to him they just keep up their sinful ways.
[xx] For why can't they hear a man's cry for why does no one want to help my son for what kind people well make up a lie so others well not listen.
For what is it about for how does it work out for if God does not stop it then there is no end to it.
For what; kind of a world is this; a world with out love.
For how can people not see [p140-b5] what they are doing for are they so blind that thy son not see that they are turning into animals and think just because they are smart that makes it right.
For Mary said I know now that you love your son for now you take him home with you.
[xx] For way would God torture a man and not a woman for how could a man give a woman something that he went through hell it get (unless he loves) but how many times does it take to forget the hell.
[xx] For the man that you wanted to see God is the man that you should not have done this to some how you blew it for everything you wanted you had but you let things happen that should not and there is no excuse for it and there is nothing that you can tell me to justify it.