The Ten Book 7

    For today 6/20/87 the seventh book is started and like the next hope that this night be the last for a while for to have started something and get in a mess and yet cannot quit.
    For talking about total control of the body by something that is calling itself God is just as hard as saying that you are the son of God, and that you are Christ and have even said that it might even be Satan that is with in and still people just do not want to try and understand.
For a man to call him self God and know that there is something that is not human with in and if it did not want to show up on some kind of test or x-ray then it would not and to talk total control of body and mind by God then what could even a blood test do for what you think that [p2-b7] you might have found an answer could of have been done deliberately just to see what people will do for until they believe that something can total control then they are on the wrong track.
    For there is no worse torture than to know that something is in control of you and you do not know what is going to happen next and there is no worse torture up on a mind then to not know for sure what is in control for no matter what all things bad to God no matter what but because of not really proven it self it brings in trickery of Satan for as long as this thing is with in it can be anything that it would like to be and can make me anything it wants me to be.
    For this is worse than Jesus for at least the king sent out people to find out what they could about him and tried to find out what he was doing to have people to talk about him [p3-b7] for they have not came to us to find any thing out they have not come and seen what others have seen and that is the young came to us for answers about God and that same love and respect us for what we are doing and that there are even some older people who love us and yet they do not know what all we talk about.
    For Jesus had a hard time for they wanted a man to be God before they would believe God for they looked for any mistake so they could say that he was not of God and yet never even thought that even if it was God him self that what they thought might be a mistake would be a change that God wanted so this makes it hard if they believe so strong that Gods word is it and that anything that tries to change it is not God and what is worse is if they do not believe God then how can God do anything for them.
    For there is no way that [p4-b7] some even want to try to understand what is happening for so many say just do not let it happen again so what better way to stop something's from happening is to let it be known what something's are like and we did say that what we are going for is for the generations to come and for the one girl that has always called us God and has not been afraid to let others know that she says we are God even boys that we know have not call us God or acted accordingly when they were around us all the time for they say Christ and other things but do not call us God except Dave he really does not know for sure what God would want to hang around this place for but it has been a good place to be to do something and let people know that this was something happening even if they did not believe.
    [p5-b7] For there was a time when we said that you bring your books and we will discuss it but they have to have an open mind for they have to listen to what we say too.
    For sometimes there can be a big change between what it was and what it is for if God did not destroy when Jesus died then even God change for he was mean and nasty before and he always saved the ones he loved or wanted to be his, for if God can change then anything can change for if God can not change things then he is not much of a God and if he did change things then he would be God enough to except all the responsibility and would do what ever he had to till the change came about that was the God that Jesus know of but still had to walk to his death.
    For the mind of Jesus was no matter what God knows what he is doing and even to die for God was the greatest thing that a man could do for no matter what it let [p6-b7] God know that God meant more than his own life.
    For even Jesus shed a tear for a friend so there is nothing wrong with it but Jesus did not go around crying about everything.
    For what else is there to do but to try and do out best and help people for so many for my children are lost, for in searching for answers they have confused them selves when the answer was all ways there they just can not believe what others went through to know God and why if there is a God then why does he not let us know but all generations have though that so it takes it to be tough two the young.
    [x] For how does a person battle against people who know of so many different things and ways that the mind could be for they have learned so many different things from so many different people for they all ready know that they do not know the mind but it does one no good if [p7-b7] he is trying to tell them that the impossible is happening to him and is that some thing is in his body and it is in complete control of it and the person just has the knowledge of what is going on and that they have became one for it is me and I am it and it talks to them and lets it be known that it is the one that is talking and yet it can talk like it is me and if some how something can not be found out then it can be me forever and because of what it is it can not be found out about unless some how it does something for so many times have we written it that here is no way to tell what is happening to this man unless you have faith in what he says and one thing that have found out that not many have that much faith to believe a man that calls him self God.
    [x] For it is not easy to be one who shatters a lot [p8-b7] of people, beliefs, thoughts, and ideals, and there is a lot of things to discuss and work out before one can stand up and tell the world it is time to change.
    For just think of what it would be like for those who would not believe a man and then have to call him the son of God and how hard it would be for those who say that they have faith and believe in God but would not hardly talk to one that says he knows God and hardly even talked about God to him.
    For if you turn some one away from my house just because of the things that they ware and he came to worship God or Jesus then it is not my house any more for if God does not turn people away because of their misfortunes then where do people get the ideal that they can for do they think that they are better than God.
    [p9-b7] For faith thy son is something that you have to wait and see for it is going to be hard on those who really do not know what really is going on it is a challenge that only time can tell for faith is something that his to be taught to the young and if in time they loss their faith then there is no way God can let people be because they for get and do not believe what they are taught and God is not just going to stay around just to let people know he exist for one good thing we got going for us is took at the way God and Jesus has spread through out the lands from one small place to the world for they have shown me that they do care they just need help.
    For the things that you might find out about can pass you off no more for you are involved with the great and have been kept from knowing the truth about something's.
    For to be held [p10-b7] in misery of what the truth really is does have it's effects up on some but it is the hardest up on this one for he has been lead on by something that calls it self God and has not stop for it does not make it self be known and yet keeps leaking this one on to do things that he does not want like no matter what at the end you will appreciate God for what he done but there is no relief for what he had to go through to get there.
For we have heard that there is one who we do not like trying to learn about God and some think he has potential of being a bishop and he is one that raised his hand against God and people think more of him than they do of me.
For this man has gone through hell talking about God and people can not [p11-b7] understand that they have no excuse for what they have done to him for some have shown that all they care about is to get some one to believe in their faith and do not care what made a person to want to know about God for some do not see that just because of this one man some people who would never even think about God is wanting to change or is trying to show that he is better than this one.
    For this thing can make a study out of anything and can make questions out of anything and yet it does not answer things the way you would except it to like it does not care for either it has a way to prove it self or it is going to do this to me for the rest of my life or it gets tired of what it is doing and start doing something else or jut leave.
For what has to be done to help a man that no one [p12-b7] knows what he is for if God could be it again, there is so many things that it could be but as long as it keeps it self a misery then it is not helping any one and it sure is not doing this one any good so like all ways the question is how long is it going to keep up and how much more does this one have to go through.
    For to open up the heavens and let the rain fall is a way that the world stays green and yet it is a way that has destroyed in the past but today it was said that it rained because neither one of us fathers got nothing from our sons so I cried and got a smile out of one for the way we do something's it makes others happy.
    There is no happiness about what would happen if God prove himself and they did not want to believe.
    [p13-b7] For what good does it do to promise that you will not do it again for is it not better not to do it in the first place and if what you have done has thought you a hard lesson then it should be known and if it takes God to let the hard ships and horrors of what can happen then it is meant that God is trying to let things be known to keep others from going through it and that it has an effect up on the generations to come.
    For a lot of young have shown me that they do not care and would like to be anything but children of God for to them their ways of sin is better than Gods way and to just blame the young is not right for a lot of them learn form the older ones.
    For who has the right to say well Jesus did and it cost him his life and like most that believe in Gods way see what is wrong and yet have not got the answers for if people do not listen then [p14-b7] what can they do for they can not make them believe if they do not want to believe for it is a lesson that thy son has learned well.
For one thing that thy son has found out is that it does not really do any good to tell people of things to come, for a lot do not care and if people can change some things then all you can do is tell them of the bad that could come so they might see what is happening and try and change things for people can help God instead of letting God do everything.
    For to be God in flesh and not allowed to do anything to prove it because God does not want it to be done; only his way would he allow anything to happen and God does not care what he puts the flesh through, for to make the flesh walk in to hard ships then he would not do if something was not making [p15-b7] him.
    For the best way to say it just because you have a mind of your own it does not mean that you are right.
    For those who just want to have fun then there is no place for any one like that around thy son for how many of them just want to have all the fun they can before they die and the way I look at it is that they just want to have fun before they go to hell.
    For one time I shall show this generation my forgiveness but for it to be known that I do not want to be challenged just because of it and that it takes a fool who does not believe in God but just to believe in God is not enough for you have to live Gods way if you believe in God.
    For one thing that have found out is that the young really do not want to talk or take up what I'm doing because then they [p16-b7] have to change from the ways that they are living so I have been doing this all alone with out really any help from any one.
    For the pleasure of flesh is not worth going to hell for.
    For right from wrong is hard to defined for how dumb people are if every little thing has to be laid out for them for they can not understand what is all ready written.
    For it has to be a question of some can this crazy man pull it off is it possible that he can do what he says he is going to do but he says he is God and how can a man prove that.
    For they just really do not want to talk about it for they wait for the road to be paved so they do not have to go through any hard ships for they would rather wait till they are sure so it would be easy for them.
    [p17-b7] For some young say that there parents would like them to be responsible but the parent will not give them responsibility but how can the young be responsible as long as they want to be like their parents, to have sex and party and run around and it does not matter if they get or are married because a lot of the old show them that marriage does not last and that sex is suppose to be fun and like sex is all there is suppose to be to life and there are those who think that if you do not have sex then there is something wrong with you and never think that it is a greater wrong to have sex with out being married so just because man think it is right does that make it right for who does man think he is just because he does not believe in God does not mean that he can change what God wants just because you can not see what is happening because people do not believe in God does not [p18-b7] mean that man is right and just because you believe that God is forgiven does not mean that you can do anything that you want and you will not have to pay for it.
    For how they change around what I say sometimes for one got mad at one and said that I was out to destroy the world and what was said was I was out to change the world from the way it is and she did not like it because I call her a whore for she is young and is caring an unborn child and is not married and does not care for she does not want to believe that what she is and has done is against Gods way.
For every time we make a move they make a counter move to do something to try and stop what we are doing.
For how many do not believe just cause I do not care what is wrong with them or because some one they know and love or care about needs some [p19-b7] kind of help that only God can take care of and how many think that God is suppose to do anything just to prove to them that he exist and how many think that just because I say that I am God and know them that I should do anything I can to help them and then would like to take it out on me or discredit me because I will or did not do anything for them.
    For I see that they are so hung up on them selves and what they are doing and what they believe that they do not want to listen and I have heard some talk about holy wars and yet the way they are and would let me die because of what I am doing makes them no different.
    Conceive on the ideal that some how you are written that some how you have to be what ever it is when [p20-b7] it is done and if you have became something that was not you what would you be when you become you again.
    For a lie is about one of the worse things that there is and to be lied to by God is one of the hardest things to except for then how do you really know what is really true any more so it does help to know that there are others to read about and it sure helps to know about all those who really was dealing with God or something of God for the main thing is not what is God but for man to become what God wants them to be for if man can become what God would like them to be then may be will God eliminate the thought of what is really true and what isn't for all we really have to go on he is knowing what he is doing and he knows that a man can not promise God [p21-b7] anything for no man kind promise God that all men will listen to God for ever so God changes to what ever he would like to, to each time he has to do something and all God has ever really has ever said is that he would not destroy all people so never have one man to have the capability to destroy all men and remember that to some one that does not have a chance that they really do not care what they do but that is where the greatest test of faith to God is for if he does it Gods way then he really does not have to worry and there will all ways be those who may want to take their life for there are those who can only take so much burden.
    For at least Jesus know what he was to be out of life and know that God was going to have him do something but to be involved with the known and not know really what is going on.
    [p22-b7] For to have told a story to people and they do not know it and a lot do not even remember what was said and do not take heed to what is said.
    For we have said and written that at a certain moment at time all will be given a clean slat but they do have to pray for forgiveness.
    For have talked being taken over in total control and have written it and no one listens.
    For only this man can really know what it was like for he alone had to believe that there was happening to him and tried to tell some what was going on but they did not believe because it was not them and some was afraid of what he was doing and did what they could to make others not to believe.
    For there are those who will do anything to some one when they know that there is nothing that they can do about it.
    For what has happened is what could happen to a man for this one know more [p23-b7] about what used to happen in the old to some when it came to something controlling a body and the way that something cam take some one over and destroy them and has found out that no one would listen if do not prove anything.
    For some one to have to work this out and no other person help him and he has been through it on his own and for so long he has been fighting the unknown and yet his had no way to fight it for to have something to enter the body and do things to let the person know that there is something impossible happening to him and then take the man over so there really was no fight but a fight to save his own mind that is not his no more for as long as he knows that it is with in then his mind does not belong to him.
    [xx] For one thing that I have notice is that if a crazy man speaks what they want to hear then [p24-b7] there is nothing wrong with him and if a sane man speaks what they do not want to hear then he is crazy.
    For it is not what God is that matters it is what God wants that matters.
    For Gods punishment is ever lasting for it is not punishment if I just let a spirit go to hell and then let him go to heaven for that is what life is about a place where you work your way to heaven or hell and if God let a spirit out of hell then people would still believe that they could do something and get away with it.
    For to want to be treated like God so no one would mess with him but yet do not want them to be so afraid that they would not want to be around him when he chooses.
    For time link [p25-b7] is hard for in time you can find out that some one is not what you thought that they were especially when they were trying to do things to some how turn you against them no matter how one feels toward some one you can only take so much before you start to figure that you were wrong and if the other does not do anything to show you that they are what you thought that they were then all you can expect is restitution of some kind for if you want some one to respect you and you give them nothing to respect you for then how can you expect respect.
    For only one thing can save what might suppose to be and that is that one has not tried to destroy some plenty.
    For one to show all there meanness and hatred and then one show them nothing but understanding and loving care some were has to stop it they do not care [p26-b7] about it; for if you can not over come the hatred then all you do is make every one around you hate.
    For forgive thy enemy is good but if your enemy will not forgive then there is no use for a enemy that will not forgive is a enemy that will destroy you.
    For they let this man walk through hell on his own for has ever heard some as that he is going to go on through with it o a lot do not care what happens to him as long as what happened is not known and what a rotten town this is because things would do nothing to help him in what he was doing and a lot talk how big and strong they are but man are brave enough to walk his way.
    For to walk a man through hell so he will not hate and for what so others can destroy him but then [p27-b7] if they did then there is nothing for sure any more from that day on there is no guarantee about anything and what good does it do God to teach one something if others will not care or listen and what about all the ideates that will not even care enough to even try and straighten up.
    [x] The lonely crusader #3 for the venture has been hard and rough; and wish the voyage would stop for there is no end and it has taken a heavy toll but how can you go on looking for something that you are not even sure is there any more but yet you know that with out it you are nothing and since you are nothing now and you know if you turn back you still have nothing you should just keep going on for if you stopped now there is so much that would be lost for some how in your adventure you learned something that nobody else knows about and if you found [p28-b7] what you were looking for then there is so much that can be learned.
    For what else is there to do but make something good out of what happen; and because it has a hard effect upon two because a lot centers up on them two and it effect some young then there is nothing else to do but make something happen that they both might regret but make it where together they could do a lot for others but the hardest moment of all is the moment of truth.
    For to walk so long in misery about what is coming next and it has to be one of the hardest thing to wait and find out if it could be possible that some one means to do something and hear so many things that you really do not know what is going on but some how has people listen to what some one says and that some how he means to do it on his [p29-b7] own and to be one that know that something happened that completely change some one and she speaks of things unheard of and has not stopped what he was trying to say but has changed things since he first started but yet do not know what next he is going to do but how can they believe the impossible and wanted nothing to do with it for to be part of it means that they have made a great mistake so they should be in turmoil when the truth is known.
    For there is no way that Jesus know what all he was going to go through he experienced the good with the bad and he walked to his death knowing he was going to die but he did not know what all was going to happen and sometimes knowing the in between is worse that knowing the end and to be one who know that he could not really die and know the what he was to become was better than any thing in flesh [p30-b7] for in heaven there is no pain and sorrow for it is a place that every one can find peace of mind and have found the greatness of God for he let you enter his kingdom with there is no better for no matter what it is like it is good to know that there is a better place to go then the life of flesh for Moses explained to Jesus what the spirit in heaven was like so Jesus did not fear life and death just meant that he was going to a better place and he was going to be something for greater then a spirit he was going to be his fathers right hand for Jesus was the first one that God let people make an ideal to and that would be the cross and Jesus was the first one that God let man pray to and still call the people his children so for those who believe that God can not change what he says then the words make no false [p31-b7] ideals or carve any wooden images of the air or land or sea does not mean that Jesus is a false ideal for Jesus was thy son and thy son gets all the respect that I do.
    For the torture that you either enjoy doing or place on others at the end of flesh then might come back up on you so it is wise not to torture any one and enjoy it and what could matter so much that you would like to torture some one for one good way to say it is that Satan likes to torture.
    For there are those who do not want thy son to stop what he is doing for they see something good in what is trying to be said.
    For to be one who has something to do and yet no body really listen to the one thing that is being said and that no matter what there is something other than you doing the specking and written for to have proof that something can [p32-b7] happen to a man and yet not because there is no way to make this thing prove it self and as long as it can keep fooling the people then it does no have to stop and to be nice to them but not to me just lets one know that you do not care what you put me through and tell them what you are doing but do nothing to make them believe.
    For have heard so many things but to have something to become you and some how together have became one and now that I know that it is possible then how can I ever believe that I am me ever again for no matter what I can never tell for it has changed me from what I used to be for how can I be something that I really do not remember and that I really never even thought of what I was I just was all ways me and now I know that I can be [p33-b7] something else for it was so much better not to know that something else could be me so I will never know if I have a life or not for my life can be something else life and would not let me know if he thought that for some reason it would be better if it was the one who controlled so that I could do nothing to do things that, that would some how hurt what was suppose to be for it has shown me it does not care as long as things goes it's way for it wants me to believe and trust it and yet it has done something to me that it should not, for all the people around here can say that there is no way to tell if it is with in or not and that at least now I try and tell them that I am God so if I say that God is gone and that I'm the son then all any one has to go on is what I say and the way that this thing has made it so no body [p34-b7] can really know nothing then the only reason has to be that some how it thinks that it will help me for what it has done must be so bad that this is the only way people will even respect me.
    For to know so much and so many was that things could have been but all know for sure is that the only one thing that matters is that what happened cannot be changed.
    For to change what happen some how would change the knowledge of the hard ships that others had to over come to let others know that something is wrong and some how there is something to be learned.
    For God has been not so nice all the time and some now has done something to have people question what God does for if he can change things then he is saying that together we learn for he has shown what [p35-b7] he can do and what he did do to make people listen to what he is telling people and that there is more to life then just what you are and that there is a God and Satan and that is why people are judged differently for all are not the same and to enter heaven God is the one the chooses for he is the only one who know for sure if you met his standards to be allowed in to heaven and is the only one who knows if you really belong in heaven or not and God is the one who decides if you done something wrong if he will forgive you are not.
    For it is hard to love something that is telling you what to do so it is better to respect God for what he is and that is God and one thing about God is he can do anything for he could just keep making things to keep him from being hard but then he would probably for get about people [p36-b7] so as long so as spirits come in to heaven he can not forget about people.
    For how can people understand that I am on a mission and God has sent me on it; and that there is nothing I can do but what he allows me to do.
    For there has been so many who have died for God and there has been enough of innocent blood shed for what does it prove that you can kill some one who would not kill you for to kill in defiance is justifiable if you are a person of God but you do not kill just because you have done something wrong or if you do not just like some one.
    For there is one thing for sure if something showed that it could do something that is impossible then there is nothing that can deal with it except something greater and there is no way that people can stop something they can not see [p37-b7] so there is on other that can judge a man that is dealing with something call it self God only God can do that so if God does not destroy the man and what would be false God then it has to be God no matter what it has done for as long as it is knows that Gods laws are best and some how they can be changed but when you throw away Gods laws then you have nothing but it takes God to do something so people can see what God does allow and does not like for it involves more then just life for God knows the smarter man becomes then the more responsibilities man can handle but God has to let things to be known so that people do have an ideal of what God wants people to be and lets his standards be known for those who really want to live Gods way for in a way it is a medium from the hard core way and then to stack or [p38-b7] non belief way, away that God and man can get along.
    For what a place you put me in for it would be so hard to make a decision if I did not get people made then it might make God mad and if God say I speak for him then neither one should get mad but unless I say that I am God then I am just a man of flesh just like every one else who is completely different because God has done something to me that no other can explain for no matter what I have walked with God and there is no man that can say that and God has told me of things that lets me know that he questions his creation but for some reason he still lets us live and one thing is for sure is that God has all ways tried to let people know what is right and that people could get along better with one another if they believed in [p39-b7] Gods way but for God to let the world know if his existence is to once in for all try and straighten things out for as long as you do not really believe that God exist then there is no man that would believe that something can happen to him if he goes wrong and man always need to know that they do have to answer to God.
    For one thing that I do say is that if you know that you are doing something wrong then what ever your punishment is it is just and just because you did not get caught does not mean that you will not pay so why do anything that will send your spirit to hell, that makes it rough for there are things that God will forgive you for and then there are things that God will not forgive for.
    For God is loving, mean, nasty, forgiving, jealous, hating; for God can be everything that man is and even more but God [p40-b7] is the one that lets his laws be known and it is his way that means more then anything for he is the one that can end it all.
    For we have said that some should make a follow up story on this town to see if what we are doing his made any changes on the people and the way they are if they really would like to be Gods people are not and we have said that some one should make a story out of what we are going through and the way that other people react to what we are doing and would not hurt to find out all that they could about us so they would know more about what we have gone through and the way people have treated us at times.
    For one thing is God has walked humbly so if God can be humble so can man but when God demands respect then that is what he wants and if God demands respect for his son then that is what it is to be for no one has shown us respect and those who do [p41-b7] not show thy son respect then they have no respect for God for in a way this man is a medium between God and man for he knows Gods way and he knows mans way so he a hard job to and help straighten things out and yet he has a limited knowledge of the old but he does know things in a way that no one else does like some of the reasoning behind what was done back then in that time for only in time can he really help for there is so much that is going to be is on his mind and right at first it is not going to be how he can help the world it is going to be more like what have I been through and what has God done to me.
    For if it took this long for the hate of what happened to thy son to be worked out of him then he knows that he went through something that would of changed him any way and it would not have been for the better for that is one thing wrong with people they do not think [p42-b7] about what they are doing and how it would effect or change some one else and most just care about them selves and for each lie or false rumor it slowly destroys some one.
    For it is not easy waiting to find out what you are going to be for Jesus waited to find out what he was going to be and what he hoped would be good turned out to be bad but did let it to be known that only God can destroy in his name and no matter who the man is God will do what ever he says is best for it all breaks down to is it is not up to God to really do things for man but man to do things for God and for one thing man can do is live by Gods laws.
    For honesty is the best way but some times it can bring hard ships up on some one for some times being dishonest get you out of some kind of hard ship but you are doing something no good for [p43-b7] how does one make examples with the knowledge that there are those who will use it to some how justify them selves so that is way God is the one that makes the decisions on if they come to heaven or not for God knows what was behind something and knows what kind of effect it had on others even though you may not.
    For the things that I have forced this man through with out a choice of his own.
    For what is worse the members of what did happen or the knowledge of not knowing what did really happen or the time in between where you know nothing of what happened.
    For sometimes you never really know a person or your mate and sometimes never find out till after you die for if you make it to heaven and they do not let you know one thing that is that they did something wrong and you never know about it so a person can fool some one of the flesh but can not [p44-b7] fool God but no matter it still does not feel good to know some one you loved was not the person that they let you think they were for how rotten some people really are that is one of the worse things that there is and that is that people really do not care for if they all believe in God and was afraid that God would send them to hell then there would be a lot more honest people around and it would be a better world so God has to be God and there is no better God than the one that will not forgive everything for once he has set his laws down then he is the only one who can change them and God does not change them to suit people God changes it to suit himself and might be a little lean-a-it but has all ways held the same laws but just because God forgives you for something it does not mean to keep on doing it.
    For the torture has [p45-b7] not really let up for how come it had to be this way is what God wanted to know why do people not listen for all God is to some is a hope that he does exist so people do not have proof that there really is a God no matter what they learn or what they find out about so something to change people all over the world would be something that would all ways be on history so it would be known.
    For how do they figure that they know God for if you think that you know God then you stupid people would not even let God change things for all to know there is nothing that has call it self God but God for nothing uses Gods name to become God all they could do is say you can make me your God and then give you some other name but there is only one true God and Jesus is his son.
    For if God tortured his own son then you know that God is mean and does [p46-b7] not want people to think that just because God did nothing to them that God likes them do not really know God for God has came to the ones he liked and a lot of them put them through some kind of hard ship for a lot of people went to hell thinking that they were good or right.
    For so much wrong and bad has come in between thy dreams that it does not look like they will come true and because of the bad then the dream has to be changed for how much hell does there have to be before the out come comes true.
    For how does all the good that I do thy son make up for what I done for I broke and defied my own laws just so I could do this to him so it will do no good to try and make God look good to him for he all ready knows that I am what I am and do as I [p47-b7] please and just because I am God I can get away with it and I do give people hope that I will not destroy everything but I only guarantee the best for the good people for a lot of people do not think about what good they can do for the generations to come they just think of them selves so I could destroy everything and nothing would be lost but to keep my word with Noah gets harder each year that goes by.
    For around thy enemy I make thy son act normal and let them say things that discredit what I say and then torture thy son about it for I am making them pay for my wrong doing for like over the years he has paid for others wrong doing toward him for even in the good some how he has been treated wrong.
    For how many will help God save his son from what he has been through for how do you know if the torture every ends and that he does not tell what all that bothers [p48-b7] him for how do you know that his dreams at night are not night mares and how do you know that his mind does not flash back on to things that happen to him and to look at some does not remind him of all the bad some how for he might be a man for about any else just to handed what happened and the memories do not help for why did a women want to destroy a good man for why should a man take back the same women to be his wife for if she should you that she did not care once then how is she going to make it up and is she going to make it up and what will keep her from doing it again and if God made it happen then every one would know because the women would be a slave to the man like she is suppose to be for the women is not the head of the house hold for God is the one who says what is what and women never is suppose to put her self above a man what people have [p49-b7] done is fucked up things so bad that I do not like it any more for my creation is no good and I know it but I give them a chance to change and if they do not then some day they are going to regret that there is a God.
    For it has been so long for over two years God has been torturing thy mind and now has people believing that it is me for it has run my life in a way that some just think that there is something wrong with me for to have taken thy body over with out thy consent for it is trying to justify his wrong by torturing me and he can not use the excuse that I know how bad it is so why put some one else through it what does that mean to me for what was done to me was done deliberately and because things did not go a certain way it just got worse upon me and why just because he will not do anything to straighten things or people out what [p50-b7] good is a God that would let this happen to some one for isn't a God suppose to help when it comes to things that exist and man can not keep from doing this too for what kind of God is it that will let something take over one of his creations with out letting the creations have some kind of defiance against it and if God had a defense against it then how stupid people or for not trying to use it for they care not what kind of hell some one goes through but if it was them then they would be crying a different tune and what kind of God is it that would do this to some one and say that he is going to make it where it could not happen to some one else in total control then all it has done is let people know what could happen if there was not a God and there were more than one God with all the same power but to be some kind of living [p51-b7] proof that God does exist for how many have said that they were dealing with demons and have said that some how they have seen or been visited by Satan do people just do not believe others because they know how they lie and make up stories and would dream up anything just to make something out of them selves.
    For how can people of this town say that thy son is crazy for a crazy man would have not served this long with out anything and all the burden that he went through a crazy man would have taken his own life or some one else so that brings us to a religions faith and yet they do not go around saying that they are God or that they are being taken over in total control and one thing none realizes is that God never has really let out information about sciences and the miseries of the world about what makes it up God has just [p52-b7] let things be known about what he can do but does not say how he can do it and has let it be known that what he wants people be like and what good is it to be or have a God if you do not listen to him.
    For what else is there to say but what else is there but like every body else who went through any bad; but stuff learn from it because I know that there has been no body who has gone through what I have and if I can learn from it so can you; for how can you walk around with a God that has treated you like the God of hell and it keeps telling you that it is the God of heaven so why something of a place so great walk me through hell just so I would know that he was not a nice as I figured a God should be because I all ways figured if God just talked to me I be smart enough to listen [p53-b7] and how do you are a good God by just make anything you do for me better than what you are doing to me prove anything and to go so for as to just let me live no matter how it is as long as I do not think that you are in me what kind of life is that for there is some knowledge that is better off not to know about and one of them is that something can do something like this.
    For just think if I depended on what I said to the people around here and said nothing else then nothing would be known for they really did not pay any attention to what I was saying.
    For if God was going to pick a cripple and part them together and to make a better example he would get a cripple that something happened so there would get together and put them together and say that is the way it is the way it is and I do not [p54-b7] care what you think about it if you believe in me then you will do what I say and if God really wanted people to know about it he would let them know about it in a way that people would not forget.
    [x] About all God has ever done is leave some kind of service to let others know what God has done and some how let others know how mean he is and yet how good to and offered others something better with out doing something to them if they learned from the ones who know what God done.
    For what else is there but to cuss God and do what ever you can to destroy him if he tried to destroy you but let you live and did a torture on the mind that no body can explain for to torture it about what it did and what it did not do and how it keep you from doing anything.
    [p55-b7] For God to treat a man like something from hell and the man not really know for sure what it is and through all the torture keep saying that he is going to do something good for you and has even told you of different times when it would be over and did not do it just kept it up and put so much time in between when he just let you know that he was in you that it does not look like he is ever going to stop or get out and it would even be worth it to be one for the rest of your life if it would stop the torture for the torture could make any one do anything if it would just stop but it does not let you do anything bad to any one else and tells you what it would like to do to some but will not do anything and has you speak of things that you do not want to speak about for all it does is make it look like something is wrong with you and does not try and help.
    For to know that no matter what, what ever is written about what God has done is true for to just [p56-b7] that spirits exist and that something else can take over the body means that God does exist and had done things to suit himself and people are something to test if they want a God for he is the one that created them but they have to live a certain way to satisfy God.
    For there is no other that knows what the tribes went through and how much blood shed they went through because of God for no other people have shed more blood than them for they learned long ago that peace is best but like there an-sisters they have lost their way and what else can you do but help a son of something that calls it self God for there is no why you can blame a man that there is something else that has involved him in to something that he really does not know much about and what else can he do if what is with in prove to others that it is God and put the man through [p57-b7] hell and then is no way to really explain the hell for it is something that it just had to be you and all you could do us just give others an ideal for you really do not know hell till you feel it yourself and there is no since in really try to figure out how bad hell is for it is something that is so bad that you really can not explain and to feel it just wants to make you forget and how do you explain everything if each moment was different but yet it was all the same for torture is torture and the torture of hell is something that you never get used to so an eternal hell is the worse thing that there could be so to figure out God is something that never can be done for how can you figure out a God that made heaven and hell and just really offers man a place of eternal peace or eternal hell.
    For what could be the reason for God to destroy the love in one just so he could love again put it except he does not care.
    [p58-b7] For that is the way with Jesus for God proved to others that he was the son but only at death could he prove it to those who should have know that he was the son for he could only do it the way God said and it shows that you can only make believe out of those who care and it took the impossible to just prove Jesus was the son of God to the disciples because God did not destroy for what other way is to put it but God should that his intentions are to let man live; and there is no other way to say it but God has destroyed the one life and how can you expect him to do anything at first if he is just given a new life complete different from the one he know and how hard can it be on a man to have something to do something to make others not even know if he is a man any more and you can blame no one if they can care and love the unbelievers no matter what they have done or what happened in between for if [p59-b7] some how every one is doing it or in some form has done it then they themselves are wrong for how can you condemn some one else if some how they are like you, for it is like every thing that you find out about the unknown is that it is something know and you have to learn from it.
    For there has been two summers that there has been nothing but torture and other things written to show the hell that one has went through and one year of it has been destroyed and now there is just a slight memory of it so even bad comers up the bad.
    For what has happened that I do not know about that this has had to happen to me just as if I hear about it will not bother me because it still has to be better than what is happening to me know for what us worse than to be kept in the unknown.
    For isn't it great that God had to destroy a man just so he could yet him to except what he does for him no matter [p60-b7] what it is and if it is just so he could have a family his way then what ever happened a man would not except it unless it was the only thing left.
    For to be hung up between man, God, and Satan for what else would stop this man from trying to get help except that he was all ready being controlled and had all ready figured out that he has a problem that no one could help for what was happening was not happening to no one else and because if what I do know they have more right to kill me then thy did Jesus because they did not have to worry if the man was God or Satan for no matter what the man said that he was going to die so they all ready know that he was not going to live and those who know him did not like to hear about it the same as those who care about thy son they do not like to hear about the torture he is going through and know that there is nothing they can do to help.
    For not wanting to get involved [p61-b7] to help some one is really not what good people do for to many whack or know of a bad injustice and do not say anything or do anything to try and see that it does not happen again to help the law to get rid of the real bad is Gods way.
    For just to except what has happened to me and not let any one know has to be wrong for if what is with in did not mess with me to let me know it is there then there would be no way that I would know of it's presents and then I would not know for sure who or what I am any more and to let people know that things of the impossible can happen to some one is good but to get them to believe is something else and it could scare people because it does mean that people are vulnerable to the unknown and not to let it be known means that it can happen to others for the ideal of if it stopped and not let it be known by now I'm so sick and tired of what happen that I would try and forget about it for awhile and yet this thing can take me [p62-b7] off some where and start a new life and unless it told others what is going on then there is no way any one would know about it so I am in a life of doom what is to become of me for even a quack could say that I have convinced my self that it has happened because to them it really can not happen and since there has been nothing to stop what is with in makes it hard for have talked to priest, been in churches, read bibles, had an exorcism with was not very good, excepted Jesus as my savior in a church with a priest, people who thought that they could throw it out in Jesus name have tried and it has done no good, I wear a cross, I have touched many cross and have looked up on that has happened that I have experience and seen I can not prove for I am the only who will talk about it and a lot know nothing and those who might have experienced things no one has talked to thy son about it so he really does [p63-b7] not know what others know but some how there are some who should know something and if others have experienced something's then why have they hushed it up and not let others know about it so they left everything up to me and if I were Satan like some believe then they are helping me kill this man and they do not care for no one knows the hell that is going to take place with in this mind when it is over for to be one who has tried his best to let it be known that something has happened and no one really has believed all of what he says and to put all the hell on one man and let every body else off free with prying for what they done is not right either but what else could I do but do what ever I had to, to make it some how where this one will be safe and do what I can to protect him till he has a chance.
    For there are those who have been around us that others think is no good and there are some that are close to us but do not listen to what we say for they [p64-b7] still get in to trouble but it shows thy son that he really can not tell how good people are just because they talk to him and can not really help them if they willingly get in to some kind of trouble and I want it to be known that just because some know thy son it is not a reason to go out and get in to trouble expecting that he will get them out of it but if people just try and entrap some for some reason then that is different all one man can do is his best for even Jesus choose one who turned against him so the meaning is that to believe in a man can only be thy son and that men are capable of doing wrong even though they talk about God and thy son for man is something of the flesh.
    For those who have left a town to go to another one is not all ways to the best for sometimes you go thinking it would be better for the family and then it breaks up for some reason and if you would have stayed [p65-b7] where you were it might not have but that is what happens when people do not live Gods way and a town where the people only care about themselves.
    For there is no one who can imagine the suffering that Jesus went through on the cross for how can you explain that you wish you were dead and yet your body won't let you and by all reasoning you should be dead for each sec. was like a eternity.
    For to have things happen to you that you can not explain because then there would be no way people would believe that something is not wrong with you and to do the things that you feel like doing just to let people know that there is something wrong that you can not stand to hate so bad that you would love to die and yet you can not die because something will not let you and that something is what is making you hate for I know what is with in as God and content so God is incapable of letting any kind of feeling help him [p66-b7] make a decision for he has to take all things in consideration and decide what is best for all and yet a God that does not rule the world and just lets him self be known ever so many unknown years is one that just wants what he wants to be known but a God has to be hard for them they do not listen for the only torture that God does is you can say is in human form for once you get to heaven there is no desires of the human flesh to cope with and there is not no suffering of any sort but yet you are something and you have the memory of the of what happened in the flesh for the knowledge of your mind go with your spirit and then you can learn a lot more if you would like heaven but really things of the earth do not interest you any more except you might care for the love one that you left and wonder if they are going to make it wise you are but you can get into trouble in heaven for God [p67-b7] does not let anything to ruin the good that he has set up in his world and allows no one to be disobedient in heaven for that is where the good you but even in heaven if a spirit has no mind of it's own and has some kind of feeling then there is not much difference than in the body of flesh except if you made it to heaven then you are all ready suppose to be better then other of flesh and have all ready battled the feelings and ways of the flesh and proven to God that you are worthy of heaven so if you have done something wrong and you ask for forgiveness and God shows it to you by letting you into heaven does not mean that you have it made for there are those who are not sincere but I have let them in to heaven just so others would know how they are and to let others know that just because I for gave them meant nothing to some so I sent them to hell.
    [p68-b7] For it does no good for me to be hard on women if the men do not change either for I would let a woman into heaven if she put up with a no good man and send the man to hell just because I said that a woman should be like a slave to a man does not mean that man can let it go to his head and become a jerk for you can look at it like this it is not man place to go through life just to please a woman but to please God and a woman is to please a man and God so that would make women's job harder but to accomplish it would make them more worthy of heaven and if a man treated a woman with love and respect and not treat his wife like a slave then he has set a good example for others and it does not hurt to discuss things with a mate for sometimes it helps for sometimes it helps to get there opinions for there are some women [p69-b7] that are smarter than men or there mate but like man that does not always make it right but what I have seen around this town and the way women are I do not like and I do not like the way some of the young are and I do not like the way that some of the men are but one thing for sure I am going to teach a lessen to some that they are going to wish that there was no God for that is what I have all ready done to this man and have let others talk their shit to others so this man could hear about it some how so his hate has built up for he just lays in wait for the day to come to get them back, vengeance is mine say the lord and some need to know that God can wait for a long time to get his revenges and to give people a test of it will let it be known how it is and just because you cover it up with good means nothing to God sometimes.
[p70-b7] For I am the one who gets revenge and vengeance thy son not you for you have paid dearly for the knowledge that you know and just the knowledge of what I can do is enough for there is nothing worse than what I have done for I make thy son set and people hear about ways to mess with him so they try for it would do a lot of them good to crawl on the ground like the snakes they are for some have tried everything that they could think of to stop thy son or to make it were no one would listen to him for some are afraid that the truth will be known for a man and something that they do not know have started something to teach them a lessen and they are at numbers.
    For how do you tell a man that his mind is going to be troubled the rest of his life because of what God done and his only escape from it is heaven and it would be best if people [p71-b7] left him alone and just listen and learn from him and how does God let it be known that if God owed any one anything it is him for he has walked in torture for so long and God has shown him no mercy at all and even Jesus is sorry for what happen to him but could not do anything to help him through it.
    For it is hell to know that no one knows what to do with a person that says that he is taken over by something foe the ways hell is on the person and no matter what it does the person no good to even know that they care if they do not believe and do it the right way for no matter the priest around here should be doing something to find out the truth and because some think the person is crazy then they really are not believers of God for all they do is think of just those who come to them and if they hear about some one who needs help they do nothing for what the hell is wrong with hem do they think that they are so good and right that they do not have to try and [p72-b7] help for a man talk things that priest should know about but yet they do nothing and do not believe for what good did it do to have it written to go forth and cast out evil from those who need it if they do not even believe that it could happen and if it takes certain ones to do it then where are they at for what is wrong with them do they not believe that it can happen when they hear about such things and is it because they do not want to get involved or are they afraid to get hold of their superiors and have them to come and see if they can find out what is going on.
    For there are some rude people who interrupt us when we are writing but some do not mean it but others are jerks for they have to try and interrupt to see what happens but it shows that they have no meanness at all and have found out that women do it more than men and the men that know thy son leaves [p73-b7] him alone when he is writing and yet there are a lot that do not know what is going on for there is not many mean that speak the truth and will not talk about what they might know for it is to easy to just lie or try and put off talking about it.
    For there are a lot of good people here but most of them are the ones who are not as fortunate as others and have to live not as good as others because the better off only think of them self for the rich think that they are to good to do any wrong and a lot of them are the worse ones because they believe that there richness can get them out of anything and that others have to do things their way because of what they are and because they have richness they can play with others lives at times and can buy any one for the rich do not share like most rich ones they can not get enough but how dumb they are for they can not buy their way into heaven for to give you an example "had a job and things happened with back problem and then what some through was a [p74-b7] nerves break down but was not able to go back to work and they did nothing to try and help they did all they could to get out of doing anything and would not ever let us get unemployment.
    For it is like this there are those who are what I call good in this town and there are those who are bad but there are none that is perfect and to really condone the people of this town there all people and towns have to be condoned for those are in a way all alike.
    For you can not destroy something that can not be destroyed all you can do is destroy people you can not destroy God all you could do is destroy peoples beliefs that there is a God but to know of one is to know of the existence of the other and if they both are mean who gets hurts the most but the one who gets involved with them and God has been the only one recorded ever to [p75-b7] have used his power against people but it does not help to know that a individual can be effected by something it can not stop and if God has set laws to help people that some had to get in trouble with the unknown then why have they not help and if evil is harder to get rid of then they thing for some how they make it look like a joke for it is not funny to those who know and a lot went through some kind of hell to let others know about it for to make a mess belief just because to you it can not happen is stupid but that is what God is about for everything is possible but it takes God to let it happen so conceive the ideal that you have been something of flesh and have not been human for over 5 yr. so because of time link you do not even know what human is any more and to know that [p76-b7] one law of Gods is that if something entered the body it has to let you know about it especially if it was in control of the body do that means that there has been control of thy body by something that the body if flesh did not know of and the things that happened the flesh though that it was it and did not know of some thing with in but because of no knowledge can something other than God do something like this and convince the flesh that it is God and do things to let a person know what it really is like to mess with something that does not really care about the flesh and through the process after take over is known then change to Satan so to prove what it is to others is great but what good has it done the one that went through hell not knowing really what it was for there has been reasonable doubt about what it really is and has [p77-b7] had no control what it done to the body of flesh and why would it take the flesh over to just have a body of flesh that it does nothing to enjoy the things that people of flesh enjoy for it has just taken pleasure in torturing the real spirit of the flesh so what good has it done the spirit of flesh to know that something is saying that there are guide lines that the spirit world have to go by and yet it is defining what it says and is writing things to let others know of things but is using your body to do it and the biggest battle is yet to come for the spirit of flesh has to learn that it is back in control and that there is n way that it can know anything for sure and the only pleasure to know that it is God is at last the spirit of flesh would not go to hell, and that it has not just flat said that you have to be perfect [p78-b7] in every way to be allowed in heaven but has laid out the best way to be and is welling to discuss things over with one but has the final say so about to do and if he does not want to hear what the man says then he does not and if he wants to have things done his way then he lets it be known for no matter what is written for said man has never been able to stop God from doing what he wants.
    For once more it is happening again will they all are out having fun and celebrating another holiday I am being tortured by what is with in like so many times before.
    For this thing that calls itself God has driven an electoral stake through my heart and it is burning away.
    For the hardest thing to do is trying to trust some one like you and it makes it harder if you your [p79-b7] self would know what you would do.
    (July 4) For they do not think of what it was like for the people who laugh at Noah and make fun of him for building the Ark and when the rain started they still laugh but when the waters started to get deep they started to cry and there were those who went to high ground thinking that they would be safe but like all the rest they felt the same fear and worry that they were going to disown and could do nothing to stop it for some prayed to God but it did no good for once God started he did not stop for the only way to say it is that you had to be there and if you were you would be dead like all the rest for there is no difference between the no goods and the non believers and skeptics, the whore doom, and whore doom ways, the broken families and the non respect of some one else mate, the enjoyment of sex no matter who it was, the strong beaten up the weak, the love for wealth [p80-b7] and to do anything to get it, to put their ways above God's way and the killing, the stealing, the fighting, is no different now than and how many times God had destroyed people like that for there has been a lot of towns destroyed just to get rid of people like that.
    For they celebrate holidays better and more then they do God and Jesus so just because Gods way is not fun they do not like it and it is easier to talk about their bull shit and about them selves and the things that make them look great, then they do about God and Jesus and if it were not for them they would not be here.
    For I know one woman who though it was bad and no good for a woman to run around with other men when she was married but she thought it was right and OK when she wanted to do it and did it for how they change when it is them who does it for I want [p81-b7] men to know one of the worse things that God can say that people can do is break their marriage vows for then you are broken a vow to God to and one of the worse things that could happen to Job after what he had all ready been through was to have his wife have sex with other men and he said it to prove a point that he would not lie for he was willing to do the worse thing that he could think of to prove something but had no takers for them if he would have had a taker then the taker could not say that he believed in God for it was against Gods way.
    For there is no worse feeling to know that some one should have died for what they done and they get off and then is no way to get them and to just let others know about it does no good for then others have an example that they can get away with something so I have laid out and will lay out examples of those who [p82-b7] would go straight to hell if others are like them women and men a like for once God draws a line it is that way till and if he changes it.
    For any one who can benefit some how from what I have done or from some how have helped you become something better than what you were then just remember to let others know who made it possible for you.
    For those who say; that the devil made you do it why blame something that you do not know for something that you did.
    For what is this thing, this thing is treating me like Satan and is praying more to God then I ever have and what is it saying look God I've done everything but killed him does that make me good enough to come to heaven.
    For there are those who care and care a lot for they even want to pray to help this thing leave the [p83-b7] body for all those who care learn all you can from this and pray for a better life for the young and I do not tell you what to do but start a new life and do it my way and I'll see you in heaven.
    For I have tough one that there is something more to fear then life or death and that is to live a life that is not yours and that then is something to fear that you can not see.
    For what is it does it take people to see one tortured to make them believe or care.
    For to have been together for so long that the superstition can be just as bad as what he has been through for there are some who can have a understanding for it does take one who can realize what it must be like to have something controlling you for so long and how hard it must be on the spirit of flesh to [p84-b7] be trying to serve and fight back for something that it knows that is suppose to be it's and yet knows that it is fighting something that will not give it a chance but they do not realize that we are one.
    What else is there but help me God this thing will not let me be me and I do not like being it, for to have something else to became you for once you find out that it can control it takes a strong mind just to handle the knowledge that you may not be you but to pick one that does not like to loss control of his mind and put this up on him and what else could control with out even him know it and by know because has not proved anything except that it can make some ones life so miserable and others really do not know what to do for him so there are some who know what those who know Jesus felt like to see [p85-b7] some one that they care about and trying to do something for God go through something that they can not figure out why God would do it.
    For life is something that is not to be tampered with and there is no way that one can be cheated out of their spirit for the body is spirit and there is no way that you can make anything human because it would not have a spirit and there is no machine that can replace a human life for there is no way that man can make a machine think for it self for like man it could learn more to help decide what to do and even could react on something if it was in the place to do it but because of feeling it can not make a decision like man so why even think of making a machine that looks just like man why even confuse the people for learn your lessen from this of how it is to wonder if it is man or something else.
    Why do people do things that [p86-b7] makes others loss trust in them for hard it is to trust some one that gives you nothing to trust them for.
    The great people learn to forget their hate and revenge and try and do what is best for all but it takes people and not just one man for one can only do so much and if others do not help or care then the man can do nothing.
    For to be the worlds walking example of what no one can image that can happen.
    For what else is there to way for if thy family had not left me then some how things really could not have gone this way for some how there would of have been those who would try anything to help.
    For to treat a man so he would not want to have you around does nothing but make it where the man could care less if he ever see you again and the same goes for a woman [p87-b7] for the better you treat one and another then the better things can be between each other.
    For each moment that pass and I am this makes it worse than the last.
    What kind of help can some one give me for they could not understand what kind of help I needed when I was trying to explain things to them for I needed some one who could stop the torture.
    For it is not good to know that something can make you feel so bad that you would agree to anything just to stop it a person can even agree to letting something else control their life as long as it did not torture any more.
    For I do not know what is going on with this thing any more for it has shown me for so long that all it can do to me is torture and the flesh is sick and tired of people calling him crazy and they are the ones who do not prove enough since to know that there is something else in control of a [p88-b7] man.
    For to think that just cause you say you were sorry for something does not make up for the harm that you might have done will you where doing something that would be sorry for, for a smart ass does not ever think about what he is doing for he speaks with out using his brain.
    For there is nothing worse than to hate something and not be able to let it be known for what kind of God would do something to man and not let him figure things out on his own, and what kind of God would do something and then not let it be known and does not let the truth to be known for there is no way that God can ever prove to be anything good to me for once that you know he is no good and treats you that way then there really is nothing good about him for if he has shown me that he can be like everything else and cares not what happens then he is not much of a God [p89-b7] and just to keep up on me lets me know then he does not give a damn and not even God can take the responsibility for what he done for he can not let himself be known as something that man can hate him for what he done and how does God stop some one from hating when people would just make fun of what God did to some one for how funny can it be to know that something did something too you that there was no way you could stop it and the only advantage you could have is that it is Satan that way there is some kind if chance to stop it and there is no God worth knowing if he treats people like Satan.
    For there can be no peace till there is peace with in and there can be no peace with in till one has a chance to let people know how it really was and just because something proves to be God means nothing and there is no way to stop a anti-Christ as long as you give him something to keep him hating.
    [p90-b7] For there is nothing written to love God but love what God does for you and to do something for son long just to show that he can do it and keep changing he reason for it shows that he does not care and a God that just thinks of himself and heaven can shove it up his ass as far as one who went through hell to find out about and there is not much you can say for people and a town that is so rotten that they think that their ways is so good and right that something can make a anti-Christ out of some one because of the way they are and because of things that happened so that would make the people and the town Satins people and town but even the good can not stop the hell with in.
    For how many have known that one has been fighting the unknown and have done nothing but please them selves for how many of them are so dam smart [p91-b7] that they are already convinced that they know what can happen and what can not happen for there is no way that one can not hate because they do not want to know he truth about what can happen and is easier to try and destroy some one just cause they do not want to change.
For have said it before just because you might be lucky and know God or the Son of God does not mean that God is going to grant you any favors.
For to have started something over 3 years ago about Jesus and love and have it turn in to hell for there is so much that happened that proved God and that God had good intentions but when the hell started then there was no way to get help and there has been nothing to stop the hell so far only what is with in can stop it and when the day comes that it broke it's promise to me then I know that it is not trust worthy and then really put me through hell [p92-b7] for it looks like no matter what people are going to like Jesus more then God and I for God has shown me that he is mean and really no good.
    For there was the time when there was no doubt in thy son that I was God but then I destroyed all his faith in me.
    For the hell that is going on and no one can stop it for there is no good in knowing that the impossible can happen and there is no one who can stop it for where is the justice after knowing the hell that one went through will every one else was enjoying something better then what he was.
    For to teach some one a listen and not think about how it would effect them and as long as you are happy then nothing else matters is Satins way for he enjoys torturing others will nothing happen to him and it makes it better if no one can prove it [p93-b7] and Satan likes to make others think that he is better then he is but like God has done things to those who believe in his way and has done some had things to them to test their faith in him but usually people seek God to get away from Satan for there are so many people that is just like Satan that Satan does not have to do anything and a lot of them think that just because they talk God that it makes up for their wrong.
    For it is best to let others know of their wrong before they do it or will it is just fresh in their mind because if you wait then they think that there is no wrong in what they done or that they got away with something and the more time you put in between their wrong and what is right then the more people that they get to believe their way was right and their way was right and their way was right and their way is fun for how else can a whore get others to believe that their way [p94-b7] is right unless they get all to believe that it is fun and the way to be and how fun it is to destroy a man just because they want something different and do not care about family because family means that they really can not be a whore if they care about one so they would destroy family to make themselves happy and the more they can get to do it the more it looks right and a woman to become a whore just so a man would do anything for them to keep them can go to hell and for a woman to do things just to make a man want them or something can go to hell for it does show that they can not love and that they really do not care about love for all they do is look for some one who would treat them like a God and would let them do anything just to keep them happy for the biggest part of the people are nothing but Satins people.
    [p95-b7] For how can a man tell of the worries of being possessed and once it is known and it leaves the body then it is over and one torture stops but then another starts for he would feel better but then the memory of what he just went through would start and if it has gone on for a long time then there is no way he could explain everything and to be in a place where either you could kill yourself and no one would even believe that something else made you do it because they do not believe that a man can be possessed or you could be locked up in a loony bend, or go off some where and start it all over to try and say that you are possessed so that some one would believe or that Satan or God was proven and for it to be God then God has put a man through a hell that no one could stop and make a man suffer for no reason that [p96-b7] even God could explain why he did it for God has never tortured any one before for a man always had a chance to take his own life if he did not really want to do what God wanted him to but there has never been any one to take their own life because some one else wanted or was going to kill him and to go around thinking that it is all right to kill some one just because you believe you are right to kill some one with out them being tried by their pears does not mean make up your own pear-ness just so you would have a reason to do it but always remember that God all ways is the final judge.
    For one has asked for who am I for I know who and what I am but what does that mean what am I to become out if life for the ones to really have to wonder about something like that is the ones who are involved with the most people for what you are reflect on other people [p97-b7] for what you become out of life does depend on what you decide to do and it does not just to let others know that God did something good for you for a long as you believe then the others really do not matter for at least you have the knowledge that you might have been blessed by God and may really know for sure till you get to heaven if it would really matter for the bondage that what you believe is true that God blessed you and kept your faith and spread it around to others has helped but you can not go around and that everything that happens is God believing you for God really does not like frauds but when it comes to God there really is no way of telling what might have recognition for what he does but their more recognition he would like the more he will do something to let it be known for some how some do benefit from things that God might have done for them [p98-b7] so there is no greater misery than God and no one can explain why God might be good to some and bad to others for every single person has a spirit thing some one else for no two people go through life with the same decisions at the same time but it does help if there is some one that you care about to help in making the right decisions.
    For it gets better and then it gets worse and then something from a long time ago comes out that triggers a thought that it would have been better if things went different back then that would have made now better but there is not way to change it now and there is no way of really knowing if things would have been better but there is no reason to just do something because you think it is right for that is why God let things to be known so people would have a better ideal about what is good [p99-b7] and what is bad and if you do not think that it all is worth learning about then you are wrong for some how there is something to be learned.
    For a lesson to be learned is just because time has gone by for something that you have done wrong does not mean that you get a way with it.
    For there is no way God can pay back the torture that some went through and God could have done something to change it or stop it so God does not go around and help every body that needs it or just because they are going through some kind of torture.
    A person that just lives to get high is no different than a drunk that just lives to get drunk and thy son is the only one who I say that can just live to get high for he is the only one that I say really needs it more than others and it has helped with those who the doc have used it with.
    [p100-b7] For what else is there to say that there is a God who is not sorry for the things he does but God was sorry for what Jesus had to go through and took it out on others for through time others have suffered like Jesus and there is the second son for he alone has suffered something that no other could even think possible and that is God himself torture him in ways that are beyond imagine when was not being tortured by what was or did happen to him then it was about other things for even his own body and mind was used against him so how do you tell him that God just wanted people to party and have fun for God thought him that life is something very serious and man has a purpose and that is to all was let it be known that there is a God that is mean [p101-b7] and mostly but only God can tale responsibility for what he does and if God sees fit then God will help and nothing forces God to do anything that he does not like to happen all that can happen is to people will go to hell for trying God.
    For how do you explain the years of torture and no matter people might have done God was worse and you can not say that God does not know about feelings for if thy son and I are one then I have felt everything that he has felt and all the things that I done to him.
    For God does not like the way that there is so many ways that the bible is written for it has done nothing but confuse people and a lot do not even know what to believe and how do you blame them if all the information came from the same writings then some one did not just write what was there and if just some of the information was used then [p102-b7] there should be a place where people could learn or get what they would like to know or at least have the knowledge all in one place so answers could be figured out and a house built for God and some would be a good place to have it and a computer is good if all religions united and with the help of a son to make the writings in the bible as true as can be and it would take a lot of books to have it all written down but some times to take just parts of something you can lose the meaning because all the information is not there.
    Ambition for sometimes ambition can destroy something and you may not notice because all you can see is what lies at the end of your ambition for ambitions are like Gods and cause some people will destroy anything for them.
    [p103-b7] There is a God and there is Satan, there is Jesus and the holy spirit, there is demons and there is angels, there are good spirits and there are bad ones, for in the beginning there was nothing but God and since you know that there are things that you can never explain then you know that you can never explain what God is.
    For how I do feel for there who have been in a spot where all they have to offer is love and was some how destroyed because of it, for love meant nothing to those who believes that there is more to life then love for there are different kinds of love but love really does not mean anything when love destroys Gods love, for divorces was not meant to be just an everyday thing and it was not meant to be used to just get out of something for those who get favored are the ones that God questions the most for they show that they really do not care for God, for there was no man that wished that [p104-b7] he did not know women more than Adam for he know that he defied God because if his mate and God punished him for it and there are very few man that has had to love something that they hate and with eaten the fruit of the tree he learned of fear, hate, good and evil.
    For what a thought if God and Jesus let themselves be known and the world would not listen to what they are trying to let be known that no man has ever walked with God and Jesus in spirit form together for that is something that another son would have the privilege to do but to him only will it really be known what it cost him.
For it is hard to defined fate for if some is law and it has to be that way than fate would have to be in keeping it the best that you can but it takes the most fate to know the true God and.
    [p105-b7] For one of the hardest things there is; I not take your anger out on others, for how can you really define something that is really complicated for when the possibilities could be so many different was and one thing about human machine is that not every body reacts the same.
    For the shroud was never recorded because the image of Jesus was not on it until later; it is the clout that was on Jesus and it was given to some one and wound up in the church where it was found and it was put on there when the church was built but it never had a image or it so the first ones to see the image of Jesus on the shroud was the ones who uncovered it.
    For what good does a miracle do to and for some one who was tortured for it and if the person was not expecting it then it is something great but if one know that it was suppose to happen [p106-b7] and was torture because he did not know when it was to happen then it is not so great to him.
    For how can you define torture if you do not know what torture is how can you figure out which is worse the torture of the mind or the torture that one went through and how can you explain something that you can not remember the exact feelings and there are so many different ways and kind of torture that you could not explain them all and something that is torture to one may not be torture to another.
    For no matter what some say about some people they still have the right to live a life like you do, for they have the same right to change as you do and understand that there has been one who has walked as God and he was the only one who know it but over the years there has been a lot that was in the presents of God because of his presents [p107-b7] and a lot never even knows it so you can not blame any one for something that I done and I know that I have been an inconvenience for some that I have named or wrote about but one thing for sure is that you should know what kind of hell it must have been for the man that could do nothing for if you care more about your self then you do the son of God then you can just go to hell for no matter what the people that knows the person have the right no matter what to make the best of things for a lot of them all ready know I do not condemn them for the way they live but that there are something's that I command to be my way for I am God and my only commitment to my son is that as long as they know the out come if they do not listen then I will not make a end, and that something's were written in hate and revenge and that any one could do something to make any town or people look bad [p108-b7] but to be able to let it be known is something much harder and remember God can find fault in all.
    There comes a time when God has to let himself be known for God has no uses for feelings and remember a has the right to hate God for letting him know that God can torture from with in and that the tree of knowledge can never be for you and not let some knowledge be known for that is what happens when you have a world that all it can do is make was for you can not let something's be used as destructive use for it is not the inventor who use things the wrong way for why not use things to protect the world instead of destroying it.
    For God knows that there is a problem with what use is it to tell the young if they do not listen but it does help if all set a good example then the young have a better understanding and it is [p109-b7] easier then to find the bad ones for you all ways have to teach the young and it is not wrong to whip the young for wrong but you do not but for if the examiner discovers a beating then the crime is worth punishment to be judge by their piers and for a spanking in school is not wrong for them the young know that no matter where they are at they can get punished for doing something wrong but you should not spank for just anything that happens for some problems can be treated on by other than what you know of.
    For there are something's that thy son and a few others have to work out on their own and that maybe in time then some of the others can meet thy son again like some have been told they might but for me there is nothing more important then thy son and I owe him something that I do not owe any one else and that is a chance to figure out why with those he has to before he [p110-b7] can do anything else.
For have been trying to teach one that I do not wait on people for he does not understand that he is the one that is suppose to be the one that waits on me and he does not understand respect of what a person is suppose to be he does not know how to respect some one that is special especially in religion for people understand that if you try to do something stupid or try and act like you can tell thy son what to do then you are going to get in a lot if trouble for God is the only one who can tell thy son what to do so if any one tries to not act accordingly them some one knows then on their ass one if he is big then more than one do it for the way some people have gotten away with things that they done could cost them their lives if they try it again for to show disrespect for thy son then you have no respect for God and thy son is the only one who can get away [p111-b7] with that for God does hold a grudge and I make a misery out of thy self so no one will know for sure if they go to heaven or not for I do not want those who just believe that no matter what they are going to heaven just because I said that I give them a clean slate for I owe thy son that and that is no one really gets a free ride to heaven.
    For no one pays the cost of shutting the places down that I named unless they do not straighten up and the spar tree no matter what has allowed us to do what ever it is that we are doing here even though they had right to do something and there was a lot of good and bad that thy son experienced.
For if you only learn from your mistakes then there is no way that you can be good and all generation would make the same mistakes so why make excuses to justify your wrong and if something is knowledge before you do it then it can not be justified by saying it was a [p112-b7] mistake, for wrong doing all ways reflect on others and the more people involved makes it a greater mistake, a mistake on a personal level could only involve yourself, a mistake on a larger level could involve the world; and yet everything in learning can be considered a mistake for every wrong listen is a mistake and you can not go through life explaining everything for something's can only be explained as that is just the way things are, and just because some one says that something is a mistake does not always apply be if you ask the bad they will say it is a mistake to be good.
    For no matter how much you hate God man still has to work with God for God is the only one who can let man have a future.
    For there is no way to find out what all kind of bull that has taken place in the mind and body of thy son but it has been enough to make [p113-b7] him hate me so how can you blame him for being like the anti Christ and not give a damn about anything and does not care if God ever came back; and how can you blame him for he was tortured to the max. And then just because finally was let known it is good to him and wants to make it up but how can you make up something that did not have to be. And there is no way that you can say anything to thy son for he will not worship a God that tortured him and this is just between God, Jesus and him and no man say anything about it for how would you like to be one who has no God or country for God is his father and he can not just claim one country for like God and any one who believes in him is his people.
    For Dave thinks that he is pulling a fast one over on me but for all people to know do not trust his so called honesty for he has to learn what it is [p114-b7] like to know what it is like to fuck with God and think that he is pulling something over on God so before he can show others what good is he has to learn it himself; for you can not be like a jerk and expect to be good and if you act like other jerks just because they are friends of yours or because you like running around with them and would like to be like them only shows that all God means to them is something that they just want something from.
    For there really has been no one who has tried to help in what we are doing but a lot wants to benefit from it if they can when things happen for the better and yet man have joined through the hell that this man has.
    For court purposes if you swear on a bible that something is true as you know it and lie then you are going to go to hell.
    [p115-b7] For there has been two many that has thought that God is nothing but a joke.
    For if it were not for God thy son would not have anything to hate for if it were not for God they would not have happened the way they did so the shroud as the only thing that he considers hell and even if he had the act of God he would destroy it just to let me know that he does not give a damn for God and try and tell him how a lie does not hurt no matter how small it is for a lie has tried his life for because of a lie no body knows nothing no more so to hell with all you lairs for now you can believe what you think is true and right but if you make the wrong decision or choice it is going to cost you.
    For who else is there to blame for what happened to thy son but God and his [p116-b7] family so why should he even care for he has all ready did and been to hell for with the knowledge of total control he know that he did not have a life of his own and no body knows where he found out about it so no body knows when he was man and turned into God, so no matter what it would at least show their love for him if God and family would do anything they had too for him all ready knowing that thy son does not even care if they exist, for why should he even love them when it took something else to make them show that they care for how can God tell him now that a romantic fling is wrong for it is a way that he feels love from those he can feel love for and the one he really cares about did not care what they done to him as long as they get [p117-b7] what they wanted, for how can any one torture leaves scars that never heals so how and what kind of future do they expect some one to have, for can't you tell that God is not tell the truth about what all happened to me and what he did to thy son and he knows there is no way that thy son can remember all of it but thy son knows that there really is no reason for him to live for there really is not reason to live because of what he has been through; for like Jesus on the cross thy son has learned that because of God and people there really was any reason to live either of them any more and to have taken Jesus off the cross would mean that God would have to go to war for the man would be in hate and would do what ever he could to destroy every thing that he thought was wrong even if [p118-b7] it meant sending his people to war, for see Jesus learned about total control on the cross and like this one will never know for sure if God did something to make them different from other men if they really where men any more and really had a life that was their own for like this one who knows that if he can not hate then something has changed him and no matter what he knows that he really is not the man he was before so how does a man say what he is when he already knows he is not what he was before and he knows that he has more right to hate then any for no matter what he hears or finds out, he has all ready found out that God is not a God of love no matter what God does for a God of love would not have let this happen is a man that I've say that he cares about and to do it to a man [p119-b7] that was a cripple any way who know that he did not have a chance for he could not stop what was happening and no one know that it was of that really made him change and yet there was some thing doing on that he could not change and it was destroying his family and found out what hate was all about and it has done God no good to let him know what true love is for God has all ready destroyed it for him so how can you tell me that this is a God of love and if it was written once that God would only let one to be crucified to show his goodness has to mean that something happened to keep the disciples from being killed so there must something not really known any more; for there is no one that can believe that something is having fun doing something to this man and will not stop and then are [p120-b7] those who only want something better for themselves and do not care what it cost some one else as long as it did not cost them and they been affected from it and the knowledge that they some how know what was happening for now have even came close of being what any one would call a disciple and very few have been close to being what God would call believers for they really care more about what they want out of life and what they think should be right and wrong and what they would not like to have happen because they like what or the way things are known and there are those who would like all the pleasures of life but do not want the responsibilities of what happened because of what they done for the young is like the old they are irresponsible and Gods law means nothing id God does not enforce it.
    [p121-b7] For how can you go to a priest and say "I am God" in total control of this man and I am torturing the hell out of the man and if you do not like it then try and kick me out but for the mans sake try it any way just because if by luck it might be Satan the man might be read of his torture for how can you help a man that has loss all identity of what a man is for even if it was Satan who could help the man for no matter what he alone would know something that no one else would know and that there is a God that really don't give a damn because a God that would let something like this happen is not much of a God any way and it would not be wise to try and figure out the ones mind for to have him question his memory then you make him question his very existence for how can you replace the memory of because of something else that he had lost what he had loved and never know why and if I be God and say that he was chosen [p122-b7] then if he some when was some what different for other then there really is no way of knowing when some how God might have done something to have made him different for no one knows for the search for answers his way and when he vast knowledge could help him the most he could not use it to save what he loved for God let him know what love was and yet God is the one who destroyed it in him but yet it was the way he was and what in learned through out life and that was live in peace but one hard lesson was that he listen to love and it about destroyed him for he could not find one like him and now how do you explain that the torture of the mind was so that he himself could not answer the questions of what is the mind and what do you remember for to know things find out from others when lyres lets it be known; for what does he really care his memory has been some of his own [p123-b7] torture for to be with in his memory has been fleshed of good in his life and it has turned in to torture just to have the memory for see he has a memory of a family of love and God destroyed it and the man never even really know why everything he done turned against him and when he found out he could not do anything about it and what happened was not his fault for something else's was making him do it and all he can do is blame God for what he done and blame people for what they might have done for he really does not know what they have done but certain things have made it where he can not really stand to be around people any more for you see he is not man any more he is the son of God and what else can you do but what ever you can for him for there is no worse torture then to long for something that you can not have and it is worse if it is something that you all ready [p124-b7] had and his turn to hate it but even just to have it again is better then what he has now as God can not be a God of love if he destroys love just so he can find out if he could destroy one and still make him do what he wants and how does God do it by threaten him no matter what you can not get a way from me of I want to get you for something for he alone has to fear God more then any for see he found out that true love also in vowels pride of what you are and pride in your mate that no matter what they would all ways be with you because you are you and to live Gods way get destroyed but could understand if lived a life of wrong to make it happened for to really do nothing wrong and go through hell for it for what ever is with in can destroy a mind and on no one ever even know it for what would [p125-b7] try and destroy ones mind just to question why did something make something just so it could do this; and he has learned you can not love something that shows you hate and treats you in hate and can not love something that you once loved if it turns around and hates you but if you done something to make him hate then all you can do is expect it back for what would try and destroy one and expect him to love them for it for what kind of God would have man walk around in Gods disgrace for God can not expect man to be something that God can not be for God can not make up his mistake all he can do is torture and put enough on him to make anything better than what he has and no matter what God does he can not replace what the man lost for he lost love, trust, fate, caring, respect, pride, everything that made the man a man [p126-b7] and it is easy to tell some one to love as long as they have not been tortured because of what God done a man really does not want to live for God himself took it out on the man and it is easy for God to give him back something and tell him to love but what kind of love can God expect for he had him do something out of love and it about killed him and God just made it worse for he tortured him for it and there is no way that it would or could help by just trying to explain to him what happened for how can you expect to torture some one you love and expect love back and the man knows what it is like but it does not do any good for to does not justify what happened to him and it is easy to say you know what it feels like so do not do it to any one else and how can God say that he cared for the man when he let his [p127-b7] family go with some one else and show him that they hate him or did not care for him; for it is easy for God to give him back his family and say love them but he could not forget what happened and it does not show forgiving if he has been longing for love so there is one man who cares less about being around God for some choice he has been given a God that tortures and he can not trust or Satan who may not torture but he still can not trust for fuck you God for you need to be man once so some one or something can put you through hell and you can not stop it once so you have something that you could not for get.
    For what kind of God would make it where you would never know and do not care if you destroyed your own mind trying to figure it out.
    For who or what let this be done to some one and not [p128-b7] try and help for what would be allowed to just set around and just torture so where is all the power of good it to help me get rid of this evil for where is anything to come and tell this thing it is time to stop so get out and leave him alone fuck you all for you all are just as chicken shit just like the one with in for nothing has let no one know what this one with in was doing to this man so understand things can be rough but to know that there is another place to go has become a threat for there is no choice.
    For where is anything that is suppose to be able to keep this from happening for how long does something have the right to torture some one for something he had not done for what has to be done to get this thing to let it be known and get out for it does not belong with in and it has it's effects well it is in so where is the [p129-b7] help for would not even care if it was Jesus and he came to destroy me for at least I would know it is over in this life for there is nothing worse and have a life that is not yours and what kind of freedom can there be from knowing the life you had was not your life but something else with in that was controlling so you were made to live a life that was not wise and to be made to live a life that you lost every thing because you took a gamble on love, for who do you call forth something that will not listen for how do I get hold of something that will help me for churches, bibles, priest, cross, nothing has stopped the thing with in how do I get something that is calling it self God stop torturing me for what can help me if it won't and what good is it to know that God exist if he just tortures me and does not stop and if he does that is nothing to make up for what he did and there is more then one to hate God [p130-b7] for what he did, for there is a family that has the right to hate God for what God did to a man and God made them hate to even know that they know him for what can you do for a man that does not care any more for how can you make him want to live because God helped destroyed him and God let others laugh at him because for if what he has become and they know what helped get him that way so where is the help and joy about what every body thought was funny and fun well I was going through this.
    There comes a time when I get fed up with the human race and I do not care if they all go to hell for if they think that their way is better than Gods then I do not want them at all for the people around here do not want God and they do not like what I'm going to do and they are trying everything to save their own asses and protect a woman who God say is doing Satins biding for they care more about him and his way than God and son.
    [p131-b7] For a woman has tried everything to destroy thy son and me and has had a lot of others to try and help her for like all she has said what she did was right and they have tried to get thy son to remember the good he used to have and not remember what she did to him for they want him to love after they deliberately tortured him but they do not want to be tortured themselves for when he wanted love she left and tortured him and has done nothing to help him and has just ran around with trash and turned his own son's against him, she can not make up what she did to him.
    For I make thy son the Angle of death and call him my son for he knows what it means and I say all woman are wrong and there are five that just thy sons touch will kill no matter what Sally W. Glean D. Mark O, Tom and Terry thy son knows them.
    [p132-b7] For God I would not even have these feelings if it were not for you if only you have done thins to two of us then I would have some one who could understand what it was like to know you and what you meant by all of this for no one can know what you mean for not even I can tell what all you tried to let me know for the way you have messed around with thy feelings for how do you expect my mind to tell my body to feel any more for all I know is that there is no way I should do anything you ask me to for I know some how I should have feelings that tell me that there is no way I should do what you ask for my memory of what happened should be enough to let me know that because of you I really do not have any feelings any more for the feelings you ask of me is against my memory and what I should do and feel.

Author Mel Christ.
Copyright © 2001 Mel Christ. All rights reserved.
Revised: July 27, 2011.